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Mrs. Doubtfire - 1993 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
2946 It don't hurt with the males cause I used to be one (full quote)
3505 1)what's amoebic dysentary? 2)Amoebic dysentary is when you get diarrhea forever 1)Diarrhea forever?!? 2)And then you shrivel up and you die... 2)You die?? Why would you want mommy to die?? (full quote)
1212 I don't work with the males, 'cause I used to be one. (full quote)
1212 I do voices. (full quote)
  1. We're his goddamn kids, too. 2. Kids say the darndest things. 3. Are there any other choice phrases that you want to teach our five-year-old? (full quote)
  back OFF ASSHOLE!BEAT IT!BROKE MY PUSE,THAT BASTARD! (full quote)
4066 My fisrt day as a lady and already I am getting hot flashes. (full quote)
5267 My first day as a woman and I'm already having hot flashes. (full quote)
  The whole time, the whole time, the whole time, THE WHOLE TIME!!! (full quote)
4184 were his goddamn kids too (full quote)
  Matchmaker,Matchmaker,make Me a Match. Find me a find,catch me a catch! (full quote)
kazlam Well, in the words of Porky Pig, pp-pp-p-p-p piss off, Lou. (full quote)
  Response to 12045 entry. The line She's just upset because someone dropped a house on her sister is actually from Betelgeuse. (full quote)
  LAYLOR GET BACK IN YOUR CELL! DONT make ME GET THE HOSE! (full quote)
5817 1) I hope you're up for a little competition... 2) I beg your pardon? 1) She's got a power tool in the bedroom. 2) (chokes on wine) (full quote)
6564 Dont forget to bring the cocktail sauce, Shes got a bit of the crabs! (chokes on wine) (full quote)
5817 Excuse me, Dear. call of nature. (full quote)
5817 (under his breath) Bitch...(louder) No Ma, not you, I was talkin' about the dog! (full quote)
3605 My first day as a woman, I'm already having hot flashes. (full quote)
6959 (speaks under his breath) touch me again and I'll drown you, ya bastard. (sweet voice) Oh you go ahead I'll just sit here and watch you... (speaks under his breath again) move in on my family. (full quote)
6959 If I find the misogynistic bastard that invented heels I'll kill him. (full quote)
6959 (throws a lime at Stu) Oh sir, I saw it. An angry member of the kitchen staff. Did you not tip them? Oh the terrorists they ran that way.. (turns that way) it was a run-by-fruiting. I'll get them sir, don't worry. (walks off) (full quote)
6959 (talks to him/herself) what am I doing here? This is beyond obsession! (full quote)
7210 sorry dear i cant take it orally (full quote)
7319 It was a run by fruiting! (full quote)
  He's a he he's a he-she she he... (full quote)
  Oh my God! Oh my GOD! OH MY GOD! The whole time! The whole time you were - THE WHOLE TIME! (full quote)
8920 i saw it, it was a run by fruiting (full quote)
9869 I come from a band - Severe Tire Damage. And I was wondering, are your kids well behaved or do they need a few light slams every now and again..? (full quote)
9869 after all that scotch I had to piss like a racehorse! (full quote)
10741 So sad when that happens! (full quote)
11442 Broke my bag, the bastard. (full quote)
8992 I saw it. It was a drvie by fruiting!!! (full quote)
12319 OH SSOO SAD WHEN THAT HAPPENDS! HAHA (full quote)
13015 Im a hip, hop granny who can be bop, hop till you drop, yo,yo make a great cuppa cocoa! (full quote)
14854 It was a run by fruiting. (full quote)
  1. I am Job. 2. Do you speak English? 1. I am Job! 2. I'm sorry, the position's been filled. (full quote)
13896 you skallywag... ohh...bullie... (full quote)
  1) She's not as good, she always skips parts and she doesn't do the voices. She smells funny too. 2) That's the fermeldahyde hunny, that's what keeps grandma so well preserved. (full quote)
16441 Are your kids well behaved? Or do they need a few light slams every now and then? (full quote)
  AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! LAYLOR GET BACK IN YOUR CELL! DON'T make ME GET THE HOSE! Hello? (full quote)
  ...oh how about this black frock. It looks lovely. Miranda: And old, I wore it to my aunt's funeral in 1976! Mrs. Doubtfire: Well classic never dies dear! Miranda: Let's ask the kids...Lydia: I'd go with the short, black one...Natalie: Yeah, it's the most fun! Miranda: See, I agree...Mrs. Doubtfire:..OK, whatever you think dear, I'll get the frock out of here! (full quote)
  She's a hip old granny, who can hip hop, bee bop, dance 'till ya drop, and yo-yo make a wicked cup of co-coa! (full quote)
  STU is more of a thick soup then a name, really. (full quote)
  Mrs.Doubtfire - I know you use to loosy goosey but when I'm in the house i'm in charge The kids - I wish dad was here Mrs.Doubtfire - I'm here guys...well..in some form (full quote)
  Mrs.Doubtfire - Its time to expand the minds its homework time (full quote)
  i do a great impression of a hotdog! (full quote)
  We come to this planet in a search for intellgent life. Oops! We made a mistake (full quote)
  knock knock!! Frank can you make me a woman. Frank) ohh honey iam so happy!!!! (full quote)
  uhaaa, i look like Norman Bates!!! (full quote)
  I'm a hip old granny who can hip-hop, be-bop, dance til you drop, and yo yo make a wicked cup of co-coa (full quote)
  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Layla, GET BACK IN YOUR cell! (full quote)
  it is the phemaldihyde, it is what keeps granny so well preserved (full quote)
  Off your Mercededes! You own that big expensive car out there. Ya know they say that men with big cars like that are usually trying to make up for smaller genitals (full quote)
  I do a great impression of a hot dog! (full quote)
  I need a face, a face, a face! (full quote)
  1) Did you decorate this yourself? 2) Yes. 3) Its REEKS of taste. (full quote)
  I am Job. (full quote)
  as i hold this cold meat, i am reminded of poor winston (full quote)
  Oh no sir i think they have outlawed whaling! (full quote)
  It could be the voice of God! No Pudgey, don't smoke! (full quote)
  To correct a previously posted quote... (1)I hope you're up for a bit of competition. (2) I beg your pardon? (1) She's got a power tool in the bedroom, dear. She uses it when the lights dim. It's like a prison movie. Amazed she hasn't chipped her teeth. I hope you bring cocktail sauce. She's got the crabs, dear, and I don't mean dungeonous. Ohhhh, I'm being blunt as a spoon aren't I? Forgive me! (sips wine) It's the wine. Oh, gosh! Be back in a flush, all right? My tiny bladder.... I know this movie.... I've watched it MANY MANY times. So, there!! (full quote)
  ..ya box those, ya ship those. Any questions? (DANIEL)Yeah after ya box them?...Ya ship em! lots of luck smart ass!..i think i made a friend (full quote)
  My name is Ilsa Ableman and I vont to know how many children do you haff? Two girls and one boy. Ah, a boy...I dont vork vith the males, cos I used to be one. (full quote)
  oy.. it was such a shandra, i shall never buy grimace from a moil, it so chewy! (full quote)
  oh thats great she calls you bust the birthday party, thats great! Dont you dare make me out to be the monster here daniel dont you dare, you have all the fun and i get what ever is left over, i bring home a birthday cake and a few gifts you bring home to god damn san diego zoo and i have to clean up after them! Oh it's not toxic waste just a few party favours! Why am i the only one that feels that has to be ruled why do you always make me out to be the heavy.. Oh i dont do anything you do it yourself! Ohh...you set me up daniel everytime.. oh lighten up will you, just realize your spending to much time with those carpet clowns you use to despise. I spend to much time with you daniel its over...it's over! (full quote)
  1:But look at you with this wonderful Dances with Wolves motif...whats your Indian name...Shops With A Fist? (full quote)
  its my birthday, ooooooo, stus taking me out to dinner, oh (full quote)
  Don't FUSS with me.. (full quote)
  Oh no, I killed the bastard! (full quote)
  Chis Lydie We Have To Call 911 Now Lydie what what what Chis Shes Shes Shes Shes Have Man And Have girl chis I saw Her Go To The Bathroom Lydie what what what Chis She has A dick She Has EveryThing chis Hold It Chis Your gonna Get It In The balls Lydie Yeah Mrs.Doubtfire Ok Your Not Who You Think i am chis Yeah No shit Mrs. doubtfire Watch Your Words Young Man Chis and Lydie Dad (full quote)
  well in the word's of porky pig abde abde abde piss off lou (full quote)
  mrs. Doubtfire ... He's a she, she's a he, she's a he=she (full quote)
  Ever wish you could freeze frame a moment in your day, and look at it and say this is not my life? (full quote)
  (STU) your accent's a little muddled. (MRS DOUBTFIRE) Really? Well so's your tan. (full quote)
  (MRS DOUBTFIRE) Ooo look Natty, thats's called lipsuction. (full quote)
  And who's your gentleman caller? (full quote)
  Do you ever wish you could just freeze-frame a moment in your day, look at it and say, 'This isn't my life' ? (full quote)
  (sticks face in pie) HEELLLOOOOOOOO! (full quote)
10110 MRS D: It was the drink that killed him. MELINDA: Oh, he was an alcoholic? MRS D: No dear, he was hit by a Guinness truck. (full quote)
14522 Uncle Frank and Aunt Jack. (full quote)
20791 Stew sounds like a thick soup then a name really (full quote)
20791 Its a dinasaurs line da da ta ta da ta da da and please welcome the king dun un dun dun un dun dun un dun this is a different show thank you thank you very much but right now please put your paws together uh please welcome james brontsoaris i eat wood dun un dun undun dun it tastes good dun it dun un dun no meat be feet i eat wood uh i got help myself cant go on cant go on im going extinct... im a rapture doing what i can gonna eat everything until the appearance of man yo yo see me im living below the soil ill be back but im coming as oil. (clap clap) Very impressive Mr hillard (full quote)
20791 0o lover boys here (full quote)
20947 Mrs. Doubtfire: Please excuse me, I have to go take my medicine. The Mom (whatever her name was): Well, we have water here at the table. Mrs. Doubtfire: I can't take it orally, dear. (full quote)
20947 Monkey Puppet: Alright, I'm gonna give you TWO kisses. Here's a kiss on the CHEEK... And here's a MONKEY BITE! Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh, you wicked, wicked monkey! (full quote)
20947 Mrs. Selner: Do you find yourself humorous, Mr. Hillard? Daniel: I used to. There once was a time when I found myself funny. But you've proven me wrong. Thank you. (full quote)
20947 Oh, I don't work wit the males 'cuz I used to be one. (full quote)
20947 Broke my bag, the bastard. (full quote)
20947 The restaurant Bridges?!? (full quote)
20947 It was a run-by fruiting!! (full quote)
20947 Oh, so sad when that happens! Ha. (full quote)
20947 The restaurant Bridge's? (full quote)
20947 I can't take it orally, dear. (full quote)
20947 It was a run-by fruiting! (full quote)
20947 We've come to this planet looking for intelligent life. Oops, we made a mistake. (full quote)
20947 I'm very happy to be in America! Don't ask for green card! (full quote)
20947 It was a run-by fruiting! (full quote)
20947 Daniel: I... am... job. Miranda: ...Do you speak English? Daniel: I... AM... JOB! (full quote)
20947 Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match. Find me a find. Catch me a catch. (full quote)
20947 Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter. life's candy and the sun's a bowl of butter. Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my paraaaaaaaaaaaaaade!! (full quote)
20947 dnadnadn I eat wood! dnadnadn It tastes good! dnadnadn No meat! Big feet! I eat wood! bumbumbumbump (full quote)
20947 I'm a rapta doin' what I can. Gonna eat everything 'til the appearance of man. Right now, I'm livin' beneath the soil. I'll be back, but I'm comin' as OIL! (full quote)
24726 help is on the way dear !! help IS ON THE WAYYYYY!!!!! (full quote)
24986 I get a call from Ms. Selner telling me that Daniel has got some woman living with him claiming it's his sister! I tell her Daniel doens't even have a sister. She's supposed to be old and very unattractive. (full quote)
24986 Daniel????? Why in God's name are you dressed like a woman?!!! (full quote)
24986 The whole time, Daniel?! The whole time?! THE WHOLE TIME!?!!! (full quote)
24986 (DANIEL) Could you make me a woman? (FRANK) Honey I'm so happy!! (full quote)
24986 (DOUBTFIRE) How was he? On a scale of 1 to 10? (MIRANDA) Oh...that part was always....okay.. (DOUBTFIRE) Probably a stud farm compared to my poor ol' Winston. (full quote)
24986 (CHRIS) Lydie!! Call the police..now! (LYDIE) what?! Why?! (CHRIS) Is Ms. Doubtfire! She's a she...she's a she-she...! (full quote)
24986 Whoa! You're pretty big for a lady. You could play for the 49ners. (full quote)
1ajas I don't work with the males cause I used to be one. (full quote)
1ajas My first day as a lady and already I'm getting hot flashes. (full quote)
29020 Oh, sir, I saw the whole thing-it was a run by fruiting. Probaly by one of the members of the kitchen staff, you must have forgoten to tip them. (full quote)
29020 I don't need a hand, I need a face! 2.)Miss Hillard? 3.)[puts face in cake]HEEELLOOOO! (full quote)
29020 Excuse me, I found this outside(holds up Mercadies hood ordiment) Does it belong to you? 2.) Yes, it's off my Mercadies. 3.) You know what they say;A man who drives a fancy car is only making up for smaller genitals. (full quote)
29939 Aaarrgh!!!! Oh..my..GOD! Daniel? The whole time, Daniel? The whole time? The whole time? THE WHOLE TIME?! (full quote)
29939 1) You see these boxes right here, you wrap em' then you ship em'. The ones over there, you wrap those, you ship those. Any questions? 2) After I wrap them? 1) ...you ship em'. (full quote)
32106 It was a run by fruiting! (full quote)
32822 Were Is goddamn Kids Too (full quote)
  this is my nightly meringue mask...what it is is egg whites, powdered sugar, vanilla and a touch of alum...as you can see I'm melting like a snow cone in phoenix..I'll go get Danny...Danny, Danny boy! (full quote)
  Daniel: Come on, you're on my time mow! YOU'RE MY GODDAMN KIDS TOO!!!! (full quote)
  Miranda: Would you like to come in? Daniel: No, I'll wait outside. Miranda: Okay. (full quote)
  I'm being blunt as a spoon, aren't I? (full quote)
  I just hope you're up for a little competition, dear. She's got a power tool in the bedroom. (full quote)
  Stu...It's more like a thick soup than a name, really. (full quote)
  1-Yes i just want to know how many children do you have? 2-i have two girls and a boy 1-ohhhh a boyyy... i don't work with the males cause I used to BE ONE.. (full quote)
  Mr Lundy : Does your girlfriend have a girlfriend? Daniel : Hey, it's the nineties! (full quote)
  Mrs Doubtfire : and tomorrow covax, we're going to england, we're i came from. Do u know what language they speak in england? Covax : Pakistani (full quote)
  Oi! Never buy grimavitch from a moyle (full quote)
  Mrs. Doubtfire: Sink the sub. Hide the weasel. Park the porpoise. A bit of the old Humpty Dumpty, Little Jack Horny, the Horizontal Mambo, hmm? The Bone Dancer, Rumpleforeskin, Baloney Bop, a bit of the cunning linguisitics? Stu: Mrs. Doubtfire, please. Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh I'm sorry, am I being a little graphic? I'm sorry. Well, I hope you're up for a little competition. She's got a power tool in the bedroom, dear. It's her own personal jackhammer. She could break sidewalk with that thing. She uses it and the lights dim, it's like a prison movie. Amazed she hasn't chipped her teeth. (full quote)
  (barman) smoking or non smoking? (stu) er, non smoking please (mrs doubtfire) SMOKING! (miranda)mrs doubtfire u dont smoke! (mrs doubtfire) no i dont...but i did. i find that if i inhale just that little bit of nicoteen, then it steals my wool REALLY! (full quote)
  i'll be back but i'm comin as oil! (full quote)
  Look Natie, that's called lyposuction (full quote)
  Lotsa luck smartass. i think i made a friend (full quote)
  Daniel Hillard: Wow, films. Will I be introducing these movies on air? Tony: Not exactly. Daniel Hillard: What do I do? Tony: Well you take all these cans, you box 'em, you ship 'em. Then you take those cans over there, ship them, then more will come in. You box those, you ship those. Any questions? Daniel Hillard: After you box them...? Tony: You ship 'em! Lotsa luck, smartass. Daniel Hillard: I think I made a friend. (full quote)
  Nancy and I are still looking for the other half of my head. (full quote)
  ALl right everyone, it's time to expand your minds. It's homework time. Okay? Yeah, but after Dick Van Dyke. No. Now. No. We always watch Dick Van Dyke. Really? Well, not anymore. The only thing you'll be watching is Deep CNN! I know your used to Loosey-Goosey! But I run a much tighter ship. Between the hours of 3 PM and 7 PM, I'm in charge. You will follow a schedule. Those who do not follow the schedule will be punished. Punished? She's lying. She'd never punish us. Don't fuss with me. (full quote)
  Mrs Doubtfire:Holding this cold meat reminds me of poor old winston. He liked the drink Miranda: Oh he was an alcoholic Mrs doubtfire: No he was hit by a guiness truck (full quote)
  (Danny doing an impression of a babysitter): And how many children do you have? Melinda: I have two girls, and a boy. (Danny doing an impression of a babysitter):You see, dear, i dont work with the boys because i used to be one. (full quote)
  I'm a hip old granny, who can hip hop, beep bop, dance till ya drop. And yo yo make a wicked cup of coco! (full quote)
  1)Are we getting close? 2)Any closer, and you'd be Mom. (full quote)
  39, my age you're a saint (full quote)
  Stu: 'the accents a bit muddled' doubtfire:'really well so is your tan' (full quote)
  1) It's time to expand the minds on homework.(turns off the TV) 2) Right after Dick Van Dyke.(turns the TV back on) 1)No,(turn off the TV)now. 2)No,(turns the TV back on)we always watch Dick Van Dyke. 1) Really? Well, not anymore(throws the remote control in the fish tank), the only thing you'll be watching is deep CNN. I know you're used to Loosey Goosey, but I run a much tighter ship. Between 3 PM and 7 PM,I'm in charge, and when I'm in charge you will follow a schedule. Those who do not follow the schedule will be punished. 3)Punished? 2)She's lying, she'd never punish us. 1)Don't fuss with me. (full quote)
  I am job. (full quote)
  Mr Hillard, do you consider yourself humerous...there was a time when i found myself funny, but today you have proven me wrong...thankyou (full quote)
  I was in a band; severe tire damage. tell me something: are your children well-behaved? Or do they need a light slam every now and then. (full quote)
  LAYLAAAAA!! GET back IN YOUR CAGE BEFORE I GET OUT THE WATER HOSE! (full quote)
  tell me what was your previous job? i was in a band severe tire damage i just wanna know one thing are your kids well behaved or do they need like a few light slams every now and then? umm i'll have to get back with you. wow.. (full quote)
  carpe dentem seize the teeth (full quote)
10929 555-1134. (full quote)
jarred It was a run-by-fruiting! (full quote)
jarred We've come to this planet looking for intelligent life; oops! We made a mistake! (full quote)
bigclaude I am job. (full quote)