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Loaded Weapon 1 - 1993 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
5110 1: I'm your worst nightmare. 2: No, waking up without my penis is my worst nightmare. (full quote)
5110 York and I were in academy together. Then we partnered for five years. Before that, we dodged the draft together. Before that, we played high school football together. Before that, we were in grade school together. And before that, we breast fed together. (full quote)
5110 Nice weather? You think we're having... nice weather? I guess you didn't lose the only one that meant anything in your life. I guess you don't feel burned out by the human misery and despair perpetrated by the criminal vermin that infest every pore of this decaying city, forcing you to guzzle cheap wine and cheaper whiskey to dull the pain that shatters your heart, rips at your soul, and keeps your days forever gray. what flavor Icee you got today? (full quote)
5110 1: Give me a name! 2: Weren't your parents supposed to do that? (full quote)
5110 1: You blow it, you're going down. You screw up, you're going to be hung out to dry. You drop the ball, you're going to be left twisting in the wind. If you embarrass this department, your pants will be dancing with figs. Is that clear? 2: Everything except for the dancing with figs part. (full quote)
5110 Half the payment now. Half tomorrow. Half on delivery. (full quote)
5110 1: He was my C.O. in NAM. CIA listed him as M.I.A. but the V.A. ID'd him and so we put out an APB. 2: Oh, I see. (full quote)
5110 1: This guy's cookies were laced with cocaine. 2: No wonder I couldn't eat just one. (full quote)
  1: Nothing, like a good smoke after you've just blown someone away. Do you mind? 2: yeah 1: ehh, your right these things are dangerous (full quote)
4364 1)what flavor icee you got today? 2)Kiwi-cherry. 1)yuck. (full quote)
4364 1)excuse me. Do you have any of these in taupe? 2)No taupe. Beef jerky. 1)And you call this a convenience store?! (full quote)
4364 1)You've reached the desk of Sergant Lugar. Please leave a message after the beep. 2)Yeah Wes this is Billy...1)Hey, I said after the beep! 2)Excuse me! (Beep) (full quote)
4364 1)And you're talking about the microfilm which holds the recipe for turning cocaine into innocent looking cookies? 2)Yes. 1)I don't know anything about it. (full quote)
4364 1)In a little while Miss york, you'll be begging for mercy. 2)No, no, I'll beg now. (full quote)
4364 1)what you got Earv? 2)Oh, beats me Sarg, Dandruff, Sebria, maybe just dry scalp. 1)Have you tried this Earv? I use it. 2)Head and Shoulders? But Sarg, you don't have dandruff. 1)I know. (full quote)
4364 1)So what are we looking at Doc? 2)The worst dressed stiff I've ever seen. 1)This stiff and I pounded a beat together for 5 years. Show some respect. 2)I'm sorry Wes. You know I see so much of this senseless mayhem, that sometimes I get a little insensative. Alright, this loser has taken the chickenshit way out and punched her own ticket. 1)Suicide, huh? She must have caught herself by surprise. (full quote)
4364 1)Dooly here's bet us he can escape in fifteen minutes. 2)How long's he been at it? 1) 3 days. (full quote)
4364 1)Now you blow it, you're going down! You screw up you're gonna be hung out to dry! You drop the ball you're gonna be like twisted in the wind! If you embarrass this department your pants will be dancing with figs! Is that clear?! 2)Everything but the pants-fig thing, uh... (full quote)
4364 1)I just gotta know. what does human flesh taste like? 2)Chicken. (full quote)
4364 She used to sleep at my feet and lick my toes. Though sometimes she'd forget about me and lick herself for hours. (full quote)
4364 When Claire was excited to see me she'd pee on my leg. (full quote)
4364 I hadn't been paying enough attention to her. I realized how neglected she felt when she shit in my shoes. (full quote)
4364 1)You got a picture? 2)Yeah. 1)Is that her? 2)No that's her picture. (full quote)
4364 1)She was supposed to meet you here the night she died. Why? 2)It's where I live. 1)Yeah, but why you? 2)Because the other guy couldn't come up with the security deposit. (full quote)
4364 1)what are we looking at here? 2)A mixed breed. Rottwieler and chihuahua. I guess they used some kind of lubricant. (full quote)
4364 1)what you have Earv? 2)Oh, I'm not sure Sarg. t's a nagging, itching, burning sensation. 1)what the hell do you expect? Your foot's on fire. (full quote)
4364 1)I'll tell you Sarg, something just doesn't add up. 2)what? 1)My wife and I haven't had sex for two years. I have a 6 month old daughter. (full quote)
4364 1)Hey, what you got Sarg? 2)I don't know. Nothing solid. You got any theories? 1)E=MC squared. 2)Any of your own? 1)No (full quote)
4364 1)Tell you what. It's gonna take a lot more then a couple of car bombs to get us off this case. 2)Not a hell of a lot more. (full quote)
4364 1)We'd like you to come downtown, answer a few questions. 2)OK. wait, this is downtown. 1)Headquarters. (full quote)
4364 1)Didn't you die? 2)I thought this was the sequel. (full quote)
4364 1)how many men have you slept with? 2) Five, maybe six. 1)Not a lot for this day and age. 2)It's been a slow week. (full quote)
4364 1)Do you know general Morters? 2)Well, I drive a Buick. (full quote)
4364 1)Do you sleep in the nude? 2)only when I'm naked. (full quote)
4364 You were a crossing guard? Ha! You guys were all geeks! (full quote)
4364 I'm going after Morters. Alone and by myself. (full quote)
4364 1)what's wrong? 2)Nothing. Taking a shit. (full quote)
4364 Hell, I breastfed 'till I was 16 years old and i still don't understand women. (full quote)
4364 1)Let her go and keep me. 2) No, 1)Ok, keep her and let me go. (full quote)
4364 Hey honey, nice outfit. Points out all the tourists attractions. (full quote)
  COLT: (picks up the cue card and points to each word) I mean, why the hell did you come here? (full quote)
  COLT: Luger! LUGER: In here. (COLT kickes open the door to find LUGER on the can) COLT: what happened? LUGER: Nothin'. Takin' a shit. COLT: Oh. Sorry. (Shuts the door) (full quote)
  COLT: Luger! LUGER: In here. (COLT kickes open the door to find LUGER on the can) COLT: what happened? LUGER: Nothin'. Takin' a shit. COLT: Oh. Sorry. (Shuts the door) (full quote)
  I would love to eat his cookies with some fava beans and a nice chilled fresca (full quote)
  1-Is this 1014 Pacific Coast Hwy? 2- Huh? 3- 1014 Pacific Coast Hwy!?!... 2- NO, This is 814 Pacific Coast Hwy, 1014's two blocks that way! 1- Sorry, my mistake 2- No problem, no problem! (full quote)
4364 1)This would not be a good time to lie. 2)If now's not a good time, when is? (full quote)
4364 1)If I were you I wouldn't leave town. 2)Oh, I won't I live here. (full quote)
4364 I'm just a gal like any other gal. I want a home, a family, an occasional spanking. (full quote)
4364 1)So uh, Ben, your dad help you dith your homework? 2)Nah. I don't want to repeat the fifth grade again. (full quote)
4364 Dear, I know you're just trying to block the memory, but your mom's been dead for 6 months. Uh-oh, did I forget to give you that message? (full quote)
4364 1)So, what's with all the candles? 2)I couldn't find the light switch. (full quote)
4364 1)So, what are you doing here? 2)Waiting for you. 1)I mean, what brought you here? 2)A taxi. 1)But why? 2)My car's in the shop. 1)I mean, what the hell are you doing here? (full quote)
4364 1)Ouch. 2)what? 1)Painful cuticle. 2)You think that's painful? Razor burn. 1)Retaining water. 2)Nickel beer night. Dodger stadium. 1)And these? Vietnam? 2)Perrocial School. Grenade. Riot at a Love Connection Taping. 1)That's nothing. Plate in my head, elective surgery. I was a fool. 2)Try this:low budget organ transplant. 1)Colt, enough foreplay. We were made for each other! (full quote)
4364 1)where are you going? 2)Nowhere. I'm just taling one of those unmotivated, butt in the moonbeam walks. (full quote)
4364 Next time, instead of just smoking ciggerettes in bed, do you think we could actually make love? (full quote)
4364 1)Lugar, you came. 2)That's personal. But what's important is that I'm here. (full quote)
4364 1)Would you reconsider that retirement? 2)Only if Colt can be my partner. 1)I think that can be arranged. (Colt and Lugar together) Sequel! (full quote)
5221 1) Where's the microfilm? 2) I don't know, I gave it to York. I thought she was one of your men. 1) Act in haste, repent in leisure. 2) But he who hesitates is lost. 1) Never judge a book by its cover. 2) what you see is what you get. 1) Loose lips, sink ships... 2) Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing or fighting, my friend. 1's aide consults Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, shakes his head 1) Sorry, no good. (full quote)
5221 1) Where's the microfilm? 2) I don't know, I gave it to York. I thought she was one of your men. 1) Act in haste, repent in leisure. 2) But he who hesitates is lost. 1) Never judge a book by its cover. 2) what you see is what you get. 1) Loose lips, sink ships. 2) Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing or fighting, my friend. 1' aide consults Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, shakes his head 1) Sorry Mike, no good. (full quote)
5713 (1) Those cookies were laced with cocaine. (2) No wonder I couldn't eat just one. (full quote)
6669 These matches say you're lying. (full quote)
10929 --You got anything smaller? --Keep it. --Anything larger? (full quote)
10929 --Give me a name! --Weren't your parents supposed to do that? (full quote)
10929 --Quid pro quo, Mr. Colt. --what does that mean? --It means I'm pretentiuos. (full quote)
10929 We're investigating a felony, Miss Demeanor. (full quote)
11868 1)Validated. 2) huh? 1) VALIDATED! 2)(Gives Parking attendet some money) 1)(looks at the money) Do you have anything smaller? 2) ... Keep it... 1) Anything larger? 2)Yeah (full quote)
28233 1. Luger you came 2. Thats personal, but whats important is that I'm here. (full quote)
28233 1-what ya got sarg? 2-(picks up big handful of slime) Nothing solid. Got any theories Irv? 1-E=MC squared. 2-Any theories of your own? (full quote)