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Ace Ventura: Pet Detective - 1994 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
15933 So you found a pebble in snowflake’s tank. Excuse me while I go call CNN. (full quote)
15933 Lllliiikeeeee a glove! (full quote)
15933 That’s none of your damn business and I’ll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs. (full quote)
15933 what do you feed your dog?? Dog food, why? I just feel sorry for him, bad diet, isolated environment, it’s no wonder he’s still alive! (full quote)
15933 Well why don’t you cry about it, SADDLEBAGS! (full quote)
15933 1.)what’s the password?? 2.)New England Clam chowder! 1.)Is that the red or the white?? 2.)Oh I can never remember that!!…. white??? YES (full quote)
15933 1)How would you like me to make your life a living hell!! 2.)Well I’m not really ready for a relationship Louis, but thanks for asking! Hey maybe I’ll give you a call sometime! Your numbers still 911?? Alllrrriiiighty then!! (full quote)
15933 Does he have a name, or should I call him 'lawyer'? (full quote)
19423 Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number still 911? (full quote)
  HOLY TESTICAL TUESDAY! (full quote)
22328 Congratulations on all your success... You smell terrific. (full quote)
  do you know the dophin (full quote)
  Man Im tired of being right! (full quote)
  Aguado-Uh Oh Ventura, homicide......now how are you gonna solve that one? Ace-Good question Aguado.....first I would establish a motive, and in this case the killer saw the size of the bug's dick and became insanely jealous.....and then I'd lose 30 pounds, Porkin his wife!!! Aguado-You son of a....... Ace-Now kiss and make up. (full quote)
CarmiCrowe 1) How would you like me to make your life a living hell? 2) Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Louis, but thanks for asking. (full quote)
  Alrighty then (full quote)
  holy shit balls! (full quote)
  If I'm not back in five minutes - just wait longer. (full quote)
  Whadda 'ya know they're little footballs :-) (full quote)
27182 1)Hi, I'm Melissa Robinson. 2)Pleasure to meet you. 1)Did you have any trouble getting in? 2)No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle. (full quote)
27182 1)I'll have the plumbing checked immediately, Mr. Ace. 2)See that you do. If I'd been drinking out of the toilet, I might've been killed. (full quote)
27182 1)Homicide, Ventura. Now how ya gonna solve that one? 2)good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's DICK and became insanely jealous. Then I'd lose 40 pounds... PORKIN' his wife! (full quote)
27182 Warning! Assholes are closer than they appear! (full quote)
27182 1)Ventuuurrraaa! 2)Yes, Satan? Oh, I'm sorry, sir. You sounded like someone else. (full quote)
27182 1)I heard animals in there, Ventura. I heard 'em again this mornin' scratchin' around. 2)I never bring my work home with me, sir. 1)Oh yeah. What's all this pet food for? 2)Fiber. (full quote)
27182 I just can't do it captain! I don't have the power! (full quote)
28233 I don't do humans! (full quote)
  I hope he dies of gonorrhea and rots in hell (full quote)
10047 If I'm not back in five minutes...just wait longer! (full quote)
31739 I (full quote)
  I confess, I was the second gunman on the grassy knole (full quote)
beekers Hi, I'm looking for Ray Finkel...and a clean pair of shorts. (full quote)
  Ace: If I'm not back in 5 minutes....just wait longer (full quote)
  i am not posting a quote but wondering if any one can help me out with one... when ace goes to finkles home and the father has the gun pointed at him and says... what do you know about ray finkle... what is ace's response? he starts off with... soccer style kicker graduated from colier high in... and i dont know the rest but i want that monologue! (full quote)
  Soccer style kicker. Graduated from Collier high in June, 1976. Stetson University honors graduate, class of 1980. Holds two NCAA division one records. One for most points in a season, one for distance. Former nickname The Mule. The first and only pro athlete ever to come out of Collier County. And one helluva model American. (full quote)
12674 Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. (full quote)
  do you know him, does he call u at home (full quote)
  ive been training dolphins for 7 years (full quote)
  I'm in psychoville and Finkle's the mayor. (full quote)
  HELLO CAPTAIN STEUBING, HOW ARE GOPHER AND DOC? (full quote)
  Lois Einhorn: Listen, pet dick. How would you like me to make your life a living hell? Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? Alllll righty then. (full quote)
  If I'm not back in 5 minutes.....just wait longer! (full quote)
  Vhat is Vith all the shouting?! Vhat is vrong vis all ze shouting?! Vhat happened to him? Vhat happened to me? Sevun years I am making ze grade. Ve are making ze dolphins disappear und Roy is coming in vith ze white tiger und stuffing un ze pants und then I'm gone....*Gasp* TO TRAIN ZE DOLPHINS YOU MUST BE ZINKING LIKE ZE DOLPHINS ZE DOLPHINS HEAD UND COMMUNICATING. So I says to him, Okkkkkaaayyyokayokayokay! Und he says, okayokay und he is up on ze tail EEEiiEEE Und you can quote him! *Spits* (full quote)
  **BLEEP** Captain Flog Stargate 23.9 rounded of to THE nearest decimal point. WE'VE Traveled back in time to save an ancient species from total annhialtion. SO FAR there is no sign of aquatic life...but I'm going to find it. If I have to tear this universe another black hole, I'm going to find it. I'VE GOT TO MISTER!!! ***BLEEP** (full quote)
  ...oh yea...the bitch. (full quote)
  ...oh yea...the bitch. (full quote)
  Would you like an ashtray? ...No I don't smoke...it's a...disgusting habit. (full quote)
  LLLLLike a glove (full quote)
  That's a lovely fur you're wearing. Perhaps I could find you some slippers made from the skins of innocent and defenseless baby seals! (full quote)
  lovely party.... pity i wasn't invited (full quote)
  spank you helpy helperson! (full quote)
  m (full quote)
  Come to me my jungle friends! (full quote)
  I'm ready to go in now coach! I know there's alot riding on it but its all psychological, just gotta stay in a positive frame of mind! I'm 'na execute a better pattern, super slow mo... (full quote)
4927 Like....a....glove!!! (full quote)
4927 A) Look, they're little footballs. B) Laces out. (full quote)
4927 Hello Captain Stuebing. Permission to come aboard, sir. (full quote)
4927 A) Would you like an ashtray? B) No, I don't smoke. It's a disgusting habit. (full quote)
10929 Tonight on Miami Vice, Crockett gets the boss some coffee. (full quote)
10929 If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer. (full quote)
15499 Thanks! Stuff probably looks better on the way out, huh? (full quote)
44453 If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer! (full quote)
44466 LACES OUT! (full quote)
45511 If I'm not back in 15 minutes, just wait longer. (full quote)
45511 1) You really love animals, don't you? 2) If it gets cold enough. (full quote)
texaco7 Finkle and Einhorn! Finkle and Einhorn! Einhorn and Finkle! Finkle! Einhorn! Finkle! Einhorn! (full quote)
48700 Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell! Would you like a cookie? (full quote)
glowincaterpillar Excuse me sir, but do you have a mint? Perhaps some Binaca? (full quote)
daddysgurl247 if im not back in 5 minutes...just wait longer. (full quote)
daddysgurl247 if im not back in 5 minutes...just wait longer. (full quote)