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Clerks - 1994 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
bigcat58 Yeah, hello? This is RST video, customer number 4352. I need to place an order. Okay, I need one of each of the following tapes: 'Whispers in the Wind', 'To Each His Own', 'Put it Where it Doesn't Belong', 'My Pipes Need Cleaning', 'All Tit-Fucking, Volume 8', 'I Need Your Cock', 'Ass Worshiping Rim-Jobbers', 'My Cunt Needs Shafts', 'Cum Clean', 'Cum Gargling Naked Sluts', 'Cum Buns 3', 'Cumming in Socks', 'Cum on Eileen', 'Huge Black Cocks and Pearly White Cum', 'Men Alone 2: The KY Connection', 'Pink Pussy Lips', and, uh, oh yeah, 'All Holes Filled with Hard Cock'. Uh-huh...yeah... Oh, wait, and, what was that called again? (full quote)
bigcat58 1) But you hate people! 2) Yes, but I love gatherings. Ironic, isn't it? (full quote)
bigcat58 My moms been fucking a dead guy for thirty years. I call him dad. (full quote)
  No time for love, Dr. Jones (full quote)
  sup baby ...sup sluts (full quote)
4130 There isn't anything more exhilerating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there? (full quote)
agwendolyn 1) How many?!? 2) Geez, I didn't get all psycho like this when you told me how many girls you'd fucked! 1) This is important, how many? (full quote)
agwendolyn Please, Mr. Merchant of Death, sir, sell me something that will stink up my breath and give me cancer! (full quote)
agwendolyn 1) Hey ****, I'm going to grab a Gatorade. 2) If you grab a Gatorade, everyone’s going to grab a Gatorade. 1) So? 2) So who's going to pay for all those Gatorades? 1) What do you care you shoe-polish smelling motherfucker? 3) He's blunt, but he's got a point. 2) Please, will you let me maintain some semblance of managerial control here? 1) Managerial control? You're closing the fucking store to play hockey. (full quote)
  Thirty-Seven?!? (full quote)
265 You ever notice that all the prices end in nine? Damn, that's eerie (full quote)
agwendolyn Man goes into cage, cage goes into salsa, shark is in salsa. (full quote)
agwendolyn Deh-neh... deh-neh... Salsa shark! (full quote)
agwendolyn 1) Cute cat, what's his name? 2) Annoying Customer. 1) Fuckin' dickhead! (full quote)
agwendolyn what do you mean there's no ice? I gotta drink this coffee hot?! (full quote)
agwendolyn Do you have that one with that guy who was in that movie last year? (full quote)
4197 bunch of savages in this town (full quote)
4354 Bunch of savages in this town. (full quote)
4361 I'll fuck anything that moves! (full quote)
4361 I'll fuck anything that moves! (full quote)
4361 what the fuck are you lookin at? I'll kick your fuckin ass! Shit yeah. Don't that mother fucker owe me ten bucks? You know tonight we're gonna rip off this mother fuckers head, take out his fuckin soul. (full quote)
4361 Did he say making fuck? (full quote)
4361 You know how much money the average jiz mopper makes per hour? (full quote)
4361 You'd feel a hell of alot better if you'd just rip into the occasional customer. (full quote)
4361 They never rent quality flicks. They always pick the most intellectually deviod movie on the racks. (full quote)
4361 1) Shit, my grandma used to say what's better, fuckin a good plate with nothin on it...no wait I fucked up...what's a good plate with nothin on it. 2) meaning? 1) I don't know she was senile and shit. She used to fuckin piss herslef all the time, and shit herself. (full quote)
4408 CAITLIN: can i use the bathroom? RANDAL: theres no lights back there. CAITLIN: why arent there any lights? RANDAL: well there are, but for some reason they stop working at 5:14 every night. CAITLIN: you're kidding. RANDAL: nobody can figure it out. and the boss doesn't want to pay the electrician to fix it cause the elctrician owes money to the video store. CAITLIN: such a sordid state of affairs. RANDAL: and i'm caught in the middle--torn between my loyalty for the boss and my desire to piss with the lights on. (full quote)
  my love for you is ticking clock ber zer ker...would you like to suck my cock ber-zer-ker (full quote)
  title dictates behaviour (full quote)
4531 1: I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am. 2: I beg your pardon? 1: your ruse; your cunning attempt to trick me. (full quote)
4531 I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule. (full quote)
4586 Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot. (full quote)
4647 This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers (full quote)
1990 #1 Hey, are they any balls down there? #2 About the biggest pair you ever seen!...Dingleberry. (full quote)
1990 #1 Just go open the video store. #2 Yeah, you cock smokin' clerk. (full quote)
1990 You know, you and I both have something in common...we both eat Chinese. (full quote)
1990 Oh hey Kaitland, break his heart again and this time I'll kill you. (full quote)
1990 That's all right, your missing out on chicks with dicks. (full quote)
  Not all girlfriends bring you lazana to work. Most of them just cheat on you. (full quote)
5045 try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot....hey you get back here. (full quote)
1212 1)Pack of cigarettes. 2)Are you sure? 1)Am I sure about what? 2)Do you really wanna buy those cigarettes? 1)Are you serious? 2)How long you been smoking? 1)What is this, a poll? 2)How long you been a smoker? 1)I don't know. Since I was about 13. 2)13. Lets see, you're about 19, 20? Am I right? 1)What in the hell is that? 2)That's your lung. By this time, your lung looks like this. 1)You've gotta be shittin' me. 2)YOu think I'm shitting you? Here. 1)What's this? 2)Its a trach ring. Its what they install in your throat when throat cancer takes your voice box. This one came out of a 60 year old man. He smoked until the day he died. (full quote)
1212 Honesty through paranoia. (full quote)
1212 1)You think anybody can see us down here? 2)Why, do you wanna have sex or something? 1)Can we?! 2)Really? 1)I was kidding. (full quote)
1212 1)My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks. 2)In a row?! (full quote)
1212 1)I love you! Don't feel sick! 2)Everytime I kiss you, I'm gonna taste 36 other guys. (full quote)
1212 1)No time for love, Dr. Jones. 2)Fucking kids. (full quote)
1212 You ever notice that all the prices end in '9'? Damn that's eerie. (full quote)
1212 1)You know hwo I can do without? I can do without the people in the video store. 2)Which ones? 1)All of 'em. (full quote)
1212 Do you have that one with that guy who was in that movie that was out last year? (full quote)
1212 Don't pass to this guy! He sucks! You suck. (full quote)
1212 1)You hate people. 2)But I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic? (full quote)
1212 1)I'm already in the job market. 2)You work in a market all right. (full quote)
1212 1)What are you watching? 2)Children's programming. (full quote)
1212 How did she come to have sex with a dead man? (full quote)
1212 Salsa shark. We're gonna need a bigger boat. (full quote)
1212 1)You know what the real problem here is? 2)I was born? (full quote)
1212 1)Hell of a day. 2)To say the least. (full quote)
1212 1)Do you mind if I drink this here? 2)Sure, go ahead. (full quote)
1212 cancer Merchant! cancer Merchant! cancer Merchant! cancer Merchant! (full quote)
1212 what's up baby? what's up sluts? (full quote)
1212 I hate guys. I love women! (full quote)
1212 1)Friends, let me tell you 'bout another group of hate-mongers that were just following orders. 2)Who's that? 1)They were called Nazies! 3)Friggin Nazi! (full quote)
1212 Try thinking for yourselves before you pelt an innocent man with cigarettes! (full quote)
1212 1)Why don't you open the shutters--get some sunlight in here? 2)Someone jammed gum in the locks. 1)You're kidding. 2)Bunch of savages in this town. (full quote)
1212 1)It wasn't directed at you. I was making a broad generalization. 2)You were making a generalization about broads. (full quote)
1212 1)You slept with 12 different girls? 2)Including you? Yes. OW! what'd you do that for? 1)You're a pig! 2)Why'd you hit me? 1)Do you know how many different men I've had sex with? 2)Oh, do I get to hit you after you tell me? 1)Three. 2)Three? 1)3, including you. 2)You only slept with 3 different people? 1)I'm not the pig you are. 2)Who? 1)You! (full quote)
1212 Well, you 2 lovebirds take it easy, okay? (full quote)
1212 1)what is that anyway--'something like 36'? Does that include me? 2)Uh, 37. (full quote)
1212 Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot! (full quote)
1212 1)Don't hurt yourself, buddy. I'll go to Big Choice video instead. 2)Forgot your keys. (full quote)
1212 Man, I hate it when I can't rent videos! (full quote)
1212 1)Why the shutters closed? 2)Someone jammed gum in the locks. 1)Bunch of savages in this town. 2)Huh, that's what I said. (full quote)
1212 I am a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule. (full quote)
1212 1) My love for you is like a truck, berserker. Would you like some making fuck, berserker. 2)That's fucking funny, man. (full quote)
1212 Sometimes you gotta let those hard-to-reach chips go. (full quote)
1212 I don't need this. I'm not even supposed to be here today. (full quote)
1212 Everybody that comes in here is way too uptight. This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers. (full quote)
1212 Why don't you vent? Vent your frustrations. (full quote)
1212 Oooh! Navy SEALS! (full quote)
1212 You feeling limber? (full quote)
1212 1)Oh, look at you, you can't even pass. 2)I can pass. 1)How 'bout covering the point? Man, you suck! 2)Who are you to make assessments? 2)I'll assess all I want, pal! (full quote)
1212 1)Give me another ball. 2)There are no more. 1)What the fuck are you talking about? How many balls ya bring? 2)I brought the orange one and...the orange one. 1)Hey, there any balls down there?! 3)About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry! (full quote)
1212 1)Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I'm not even supposed to be here today! (full quote)
1212 You've had sex with a dead person? (full quote)
1212 1)So the casket fell over. Big deal! 2)Her fucking body fell out! 1)They put her back in it! Its not like it matters if she breaks something! (full quote)
1212 1)Cute cat. what's his name? 2)Annoying customer. (full quote)
1212 You sold cigarettes to a 4-year-old? what a scumbag. (full quote)
1212 His name is 'Sang'? Past tense? (full quote)
1212 Territoriality. He was mine first. (full quote)
1212 1)Who eats cock? 2)Bunch of savages in this town. (full quote)
1212 1)God, that was so great! My legs are still shaking. 2)It wasn't me. 1)Yeah, right. Who was it then? Randal? 2)Was it you? (full quote)
1212 1)God, that was so great! My legs are still shaking. 2)It wasn't me. 1)Yeah, right. Who was it then? Randal? 2)Was it you? (full quote)
1212 Well, I didn't just fuck myself! (full quote)
1212 1)I'm stuck in this pit, working for less than slave wages, working on my day off. The goddamn steel shutters are closed. I deal with every backward-assed fuck on the planet. I smell like shoe polish. My ex-girlfriend is catatonic after fucking a dead guy, and my present girlfriend has sucked 36 dicks. 2)37. 1)My life's in the shitter right now, and if you don't mind, I'd like to stew a bit. (full quote)
1212 1)1.79. 2)Pay the good man. (full quote)
1212 1)Why do I have this life? 2)Have some chips. You'll feel better. (full quote)
1212 You know, there's a million fine-lookin' women in the world, dude, but they don't all bring ya lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on ya. (full quote)
Wizard I'd like to go down on you and about 2 other guys, make like a circuis seal. (full quote)
Wizard 1)What are you watching? 2)Child programming (full quote)
Wizard 1)This has got to be the weirdest thing you've been called in on. 2)Nope, a kid broke his neck trying to go down on himself. (full quote)
Wizard You get me slapped with a fine. You argue with the customers, and I have to patch everything up. You get us thrown out of the funeral for violating the corpse, then to top it off, you ruin my relationship. I mean, what's your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank? (full quote)
Wizard 1)Theoretically, eople see money on the counter, and no one around, they think they're being watched. 2)Honesty through paranoia. (full quote)
Wizard 1)Which did you like better, Return of the Jedi, or Empire Strikes back? 2)Empire. 1)Blasphemy. (full quote)
Wizard I'm offering you my body, and you're offering me semantics. (full quote)
Wizard My friend here is trying to tell me that any independent contractors who were working on the uncompleted death star were innocent victoms when they were destroyed by the rebels. (full quote)
Wizard You know I'm your hero. (full quote)
Wizard Will you just Rando out of here for me? (full quote)
ProKiller You have to take pride in your work. That's why I manually masturbate animals for artificial insemination. (full quote)
ProKiller Don't suck any dick on the way to parking lot either. Hey you stay there. (full quote)
5151 1. Excuse me....sir. Do you know if any of these movies are any good? 2. I dont know, I don't watch movies. 1. Well have you heard anybody say anything about them? 2. I find its best to stay out of other peoples affairs. 1. You mean you havent heard anyone say anything about either one of these? 2. Nope. 1. Well what about these two? 2. Oh they suck. 1. These are the same two movies--you werent paying any attention. 2. No, I wasn't. 1. I don't think you manager would appreciate..... 2. I dont appreciate your rues ma'am 1. I beg your pardon. 2. Your rues, your cunning attempt to trick me. 1. I was just pointing out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying. 2. And I hope it feels good. 1. You hope what feels good? 2. I hope it feels so good to be right. Theres nothing more exhilerating than pointing out the short comings of others is there. 1. Well this is the last time I rent here. 2. You will be missed. 1. Screw you! 2. Hey, you're not allowed to rent here anymore! 3. YEAH!!! (full quote)
5967 You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of them just cheat on you. (full quote)
5967 I mean that's what high school was about, algebra, bad lunch and infidelity. (full quote)
6027 Title does not dictate behaviour. (full quote)
6034 Try not to blow anyone on the way to the parking lot! (full quote)
6034 Try not to blow anyone on the way to the parking lot! (full quote)
6080 I'm not even supposed to be here today! (full quote)
6080 1:Which did you like better, Jedi or The Empire Strikes back? 2:Empire. 1:Blasphemy. (full quote)
6809 Here comes randal he's a berserker (full quote)
7004 Salsa shark. Man goes into cage, cage goes into salsa. Shark's in the salsa. Our shark. We're gonna need a bigger boat! (full quote)
7016 Empire had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen, taken away by Boba Fett - It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is - a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of muppets. (full quote)
  who's leading this mob? freeze, let's see some credentials. chwlies gum? and what your stirring up all this anti smoking sentiment, to what sell more gum? get out of here. and you don't you have jobs? go commute. bunch of easily lead automotons, try thinking for yourself before you pelt an innocent man with cigarettes (full quote)
  I don't see how you could even romanticize your relationship with Caitlin. She broke your heart and inadvertently drove men to deviant lifestyles. (full quote)
  Silent bob: You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you. (full quote)
  what's next?You anally rape my mom while pouring sugar in my gas tank? (full quote)
  ....Are u sure?....Maybe theres like a vindictive printer working for you.. meaning like someone who maybe-I dont know asked her out once and got shot down, and its his revenge is throwing this bogus article in when the paper went to press........ Hello? hello???? (full quote)
  Not in me. Thats what she says. I gotta pull out and spank it to get it on. So I blow a nut on her belly,and I get out of there, just as my uncle walks in. It was such a close call. I tell you what though, I dont care if shes my cousin Im gonna knock those boots agian tonight. (full quote)
  DAMN SILENT BOB YOUR A RUDE MOTHER FUCKER, BUT YER REAL CUTE THOUGH. I'D LIKE TO GO down ON YOU, SUCK ON YOU, LINE UP THREE OTHER GUYS, AND MAKE OUT LIKE A CIRCUS SEAL. AHHHH, FUCKIN FAGGOT, I HATE GUYS, I LOVE WOMEN! (full quote)
  people yell out all kinds of weird stuff during sex. one time i yelled out 'mom'. (full quote)
  Try not to suck and d**k on your way to the parking lot! (full quote)
  1)You can't rent videos here anymore 2)YYYYEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!! (full quote)
  thats why i manualy mastebate caged animals for artificial insemination. (full quote)
  ah girl like five rows above this post its 37 not fifty (full quote)
  Melodrama coming from you is about as normal as an oral bowel movement. (full quote)
  No, because you won't admit to it. As if a guy's a fucking pervert because he tries to go down on himself. You're as curious as the rest of us, pal. You've tried it. (full quote)
  Veronica: somthing like 36... Dante: What does that mean anyway? does that include me?!? Veronica: 37... Dante: I'M 37!!?!?! Veronica: I'm goin to class Dante: my god... 37, my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks! Randall: In a row? Dante: Hey where you goin? Veronica: hey listen jerk, until today you didn't even know how many guys a slept with because you never even bothered to ask then you act on non-shollott about fucking 12 different girls when i never had sex with 12 different guys! Dante: no but you sucked enough dick! Veronica: Yeah i went down on a few guys! Dante: A FEW?! Veronica: and one of those guys was you, the last one i might add which if you're too stupid to comprehend means i've been fathful to you since we've met. all the other guys i went with were before i met you so if you wanna have a complence about it go ahead but don't look at me like i'm the tampbar because you were pleanty of yourself before you met me Dante: well, why'd you have to suck that dick why couldn't you just sleep with em like any other normal person? Veronica: because going down isn't a big deal, i used to like a guy we'd make out and sooner or later i'd go down on him but i only had sex with the guys i loved Dante: i feel sick Veronica: i love you Don't feel sick Dante:everytime i kiss you i taste 36 other guys Veronica:i'm going to school maybe later you'll be a bit more rational Dante: 37, i just can't- Veronica: good-bye Dante! Dante: Hey try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot! Hey, hey you get back here (full quote)
  we quit! you dont even work here! not anymore we dont (full quote)
  Noise noise noise, smokin weed, smokin weed, drinkin beer, doin coke. Pack a reds my good man it is time to kick back drink some beers and smoke some weed! (full quote)
  Randall: Girl was nuts, man. She cheated on you how many times? Dante: Eight and a half. Randall: Eight and a half? Dante: Party at John Kay's senior year. I get drunk and pass out in the bedroom. Caitlin comes in and is all over me. Randall: So, that's cheating? Dante: No. In the middle of it she called me Brad. Randall: She called you Brad? Dante: She called me Brad. Randall: Oh, that's not cheating. People say crazy shit during sex. One time, I called this girl mom. (full quote)
  your not allowed to rent videos here anymore. God im not even supposed to be here today. (full quote)
  Try not to suck any dick in the parking lot! (full quote)
  You mean, you fucked a dead guy!?!? (full quote)
  1) y'know, you and i are a lot alike. 2) how's that? 1) we both eat chinese. 2) dick. 1) exactly. (full quote)
  1)Oh come on, tell there isn't any customers who annoy the piss out of you. 2)There aren't! 1) How can you lie like that?1 1) Ok fine, you know, there are some. 2) Like? 1)The milk maids. 2)..the milk maids? (full quote)
  Try not to suck any dicks on the way to the parking lot! (full quote)
  1)you know what I just finished watching? 2)me pulling a chip can off some moron's fist? (full quote)
  Salsa shark we need to get a bigger boat. Man goes into cage cage goes into salsa sharks in salsa our shark. (full quote)
  Sometimes people say some crazy shit during sex, one time I called this girl mom! (full quote)
  I EAT COCK (full quote)
  what choo want grizzle adams (full quote)
  This job would be great if it weren't for the customers (full quote)
  Here comes Randell, he's a berzerker (full quote)
  This job'd be great if it weren't for the f**king customers (full quote)
  what smells like shoe polish? (full quote)
  I'm not even supposed to BE here today! (full quote)
  1) Call the cops, someones in the bathroom they just raped Caitlin! 2) She just said she did all the work (full quote)
  Happy Scrappy Hero Pup (full quote)
  37?!? (full quote)
  Can anyone see us down here? Why? You wanna have sex? Can we? Really? (full quote)
  My love for you is like a truck, Berserker! Would you like some making f**k, Berserker! (full quote)
  There's alot of fine lookin' ladies in the world but not may of them will bring you lasagna at work. (full quote)
  Smokin weed, smokin weed, drinkin beers, gettin pussy. (full quote)
  My cousin died while he was trying to suck his own dick. (full quote)
  36 dicks?you mean i'm number 37? (full quote)
  1) Oh, that's not bad, my cousin died from trying to suck his on cock. 2)Really? 1)Yeah, they found him doubled over under his bed (full quote)
  Try not to suck any dick on your way to the parking lot! (full quote)
  I'm not even supposed to Be here today! (full quote)
  im not even supposed to BE HERE today (full quote)
  Ooooh Navy Seals!! (full quote)
1759 Making a man climax isn't at all challenging...now making a woman cum...therein lies a challenge (full quote)
1990 #1 Cute cat. what's its name? #2 Annoying customer. (full quote)
agwendolyn Did he just say 'making fuck'? (full quote)
4904 1. She called you Brad? 2. She called me Brad. (full quote)
4904 I LOVE women! (full quote)
7016 Any contractor working on that Death Star knew the risk involved. If they got killed, it's their own fault. (full quote)
7016 We're gonna croak sometime. (full quote)
7016 I'm astonished to hear you trivialize my role in your sex life. (full quote)
7016 This is where you're heading - cruddy lung, smoking through a hold in your throat. Do you really want that? (full quote)
7016 Now, making a woman come - therein lies the challenge. (full quote)
7041 ill fuck anything that moves (full quote)
7726 My love for you is ticking clock.. BE-ZER-KER! Would you like to suck my cock? BE-ZER-KER! (full quote)
7790 Why do you smell like shoe polish? (full quote)
QuickStopRST The best of Both Worlds. Hermaphroditic porn- chicks with dicks that put mind to shame. (full quote)
8563 A woman makes a guy come, it's standard. A guy makes a woman come, it's talent. (full quote)
8563 In light of this lurid tale, I don't even see how you could romanticize your relationship with Caitlin. She broke your heart and inadvertently drove men to deviant lifestyles. (full quote)
8563 Don't you have jobs to go to? Get outta here! Go commute! (full quote)
8563 Think the average stormtrooper knows how to install a toilet main? All's they know is killin' and white uniforms. (full quote)
8563 You have so much potential that's going to waste in this pit. (full quote)
8563 I think about one fight a day with Veronica is all about I can stomach, thanks. (full quote)
8563 Takes different strokes to move the world. (full quote)
8563 I'd like to get paid to sit on my ass and watch TV. (full quote)
8563 I think the arguments Veronica and I have been having are some kind of manifestation of a subconcious desire to break up with her. So I can pursue a more meaningful relationship with Caitlin. (full quote)
8563 There was a lot of good in our relationship... Aside from the cheating, we were a great couple. I mean, that's what high school is about: algebra, bad lunch and infidelity. (full quote)
8613 I don't watch movies. (full quote)
8751 Chicks with dicks that put mine to shame. And you rented this? Hey I like to expand my horizons. (full quote)
8837 1. And I don't appreciate your ruse ma'am. 2.My what? 1. Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me. (full quote)
8837 what do you mean there's no ice? You mean I gotta drink this coffee hot? (full quote)
8837 1.You hate people! 2.But I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic? (full quote)
8920 1. my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks 2. In a row? (full quote)
9302 my love for you is like a truck, berzerker! would you like some making fuck, berzerker! (full quote)
9307 My mom's been fuckin' a dead guy for 30 years. I call him dad. (full quote)
9307 People say crazy shit during sex. One time I called this girl 'Mom.' (full quote)
9307 You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you. (full quote)
9307 I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule. (full quote)
9307 ...my ex-girlfriend is catatonic after fucking a dead guy, and my current girlfriend has sucked 36 dicks. (full quote)
9307 1)But you hate people. 2)Yes, but I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic? (full quote)
9307 what's your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank? (full quote)
9550 I'm torn between loyalty to my boss, and my want to piss with the light on. (full quote)
9808 what's up bitches, what's up sluts. (full quote)
9860 1) They say so much but they never say if it's good! Are these any good? 2) Sorry I don't watch movies. 1) Well have you heard anything about them? 2) I find it best to stay out of the personal affairs of others. (#1 turns around and then turns back to #2) 1) Okay, what about these? 2) They suck. 1) They're the same movies! You weren't paying attention. 2) I don't appreciate your ruse. 1) My what? 2) Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me. 1) I was just pointing out that you weren't listening! 2) And I hope it feels good. 1) You hope WHAT feels good? 2) Being right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others. 1) I'm never going to rent here again! 2) You will be missed. 1) Screw you! 2) Hey, you aren't allowed to rent here anymore!! 3) Yeah!!! (full quote)
10201 who's leading this mob? freeze! let's see some credentials. chewlies gum? and you're stirring up all of this anti smoking sentiment, to what sell more gum? get out of here. and you. don't you have jobs? go commute. bunch of easily lead automotons. try thinking for yourself before you pelt an innocent man with cigarettes. (full quote)
10459 No time for love Dr Jones! (full quote)
10459 Don't take this the wrong way, but I used to fuck her (full quote)
10630 Did he just sing making fuck? (full quote)
10630 They say so much, but they never tell you if it's any good. (full quote)
10630 1) what about these two? 2) They suck. 1) They're the same movies. (full quote)
10630 There's nothing more exhilerating than pointing out the shortcomings of others. (full quote)
10630 It's not like you laid the eggs yourself (full quote)
10630 It's not like you laid the eggs yourself (full quote)
10630 that's why I manually masterbate caged animals for artificial insemination. (full quote)
10630 Do you know how much money the average jizz-mopper makes per hour? (full quote)
10630 I don't know if you've notices, but cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away. (full quote)
10630 You'd feel a lot better if you'd just rip into the occasional customer. (full quote)
10630 Ooooh.... Navy Seals. (full quote)
10630 So you sell hubcaps for a 72 Pinto hatchback? (full quote)
11615 Customer: what's that cats name? Worker: Its Annoying customer! (full quote)
11935 I'm not even supposed to be here! (full quote)
11935 #1) Which one did you like better, Jedi or Empire? #2)Empire... #1)Blasphemy. (full quote)
11935 Happy Scrappy!!!! (full quote)
13013 Bunch of savages in this town! (full quote)
13252 Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot!!! Hey you- get back here! (full quote)
13670 Oh, Caitlin? Break his heart again this time and I'll kill ya. Nothing personal. (full quote)
13809 Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot! (full quote)
14455 it's important to have a meaningful job guys. I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination. (full quote)
15015 Salsa Shark. (full quote)
15015 Do you think your average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? (full quote)
15952 You'd feel a lot better if you'd rip into the occasional customer. (full quote)
17184 R: Hey we have something in common, we both like to eat chinese! C: Dick! R: Exactly! (full quote)
18520 I'll fuck this bithc, I'll fuck that bitch, I'll fuck anything that moves! Ya know Silent Bob that's preety rude. You're kinda cute though. I'll go down on you, suck you, line up three more guys and make like a circus seal! Ew you fucking faggot! I hate guys! I LOVE WOMEN! What you want Grizzly Adams? (full quote)
18927 I'm not even supposed to be here, today! (full quote)
19129 1. My girlfriends sucked 50 dicks 2. In a row? (full quote)
23039 1) Which is better, Empire or Jedi? 2) Empire 1) Blasphemy... (full quote)
24539 So whats your encore, will you like analy rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank? (full quote)
24539 TRY NOT TO SUCK ANY DICKS ON YOUR WAY OUT OF THE PARKING LOT! HEY YOU GET back OVER HERE! (full quote)
24539 1)You hate people Randal. 2)But I love gatherings. It's ironic. (full quote)
Evenstar I'm not even supposed to be here today! (full quote)
Evenstar Remind me if he tries to buy something... I'd like to shit in his bag. (full quote)
Evenstar Try thinking for yourselves before you pelt an innocent man with cigarrettes. (full quote)
Evenstar Bunch of savages in this town. (full quote)
Evenstar 1) You'll sleep with anything that says yes 2) animal, mineral, or vegetable. (full quote)
Evenstar Try not to suck any dick on your way to the parking lot! (full quote)
Evenstar I'm a firm believer in a ruling class, especially since I rule. (full quote)
Evenstar Thats what high school is all about, algebra, bad lunch, and infedelity. (full quote)
Evenstar Ever notice that all the prices end in 9? Damn thats eerie. (full quote)
Evenstar This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers. (full quote)
Evenstar What do you care you shoepolish smelling motherfucker? (full quote)
Evenstar 1) Hey any balls down there? 2) About the biggest pair you've ever seen dingleberry! (full quote)
Evenstar 1) You hate people 2) but I love gatherings, isnt it ironic? (full quote)
Evenstar 1) How many times have I told you to stop dealing in front of the store? 2) I'm not dealing 3) Hey you got anything? 2) yea what do you want? (full quote)
Evenstar 1) Cute cat, whats its name? 2) annoying customer 1) fucking dickhead! (full quote)
Evenstar I love your sex talk its so kindergarten. poo-poo! wee-wee! (full quote)
Evenstar Theres a million fine women in this world but they dont all bring you lasagna at work. Most of them just cheat on you. (full quote)
Evenstar My mom's been fucking a dead guy for years, I call him dad (full quote)
27458 Don't pass to this guy, he sucks! YOU SUCK! (full quote)
28233 I brought the orange one...aaaaand the orange one! (full quote)
CanONEsaY I feel good today Silent Bob. We're gonna make some money, then you know what we're gonna do? We're gonna go to that party, we're gonna get some pussy and i'ma fuck this bitch and i'ma fuck this bitch....I'LL FUCK ANYTHING THAT MOVES! (full quote)
28898 Oooh! Navy Seals! (full quote)
madhatter13 1)You seen any keys? 2)No time for love Doctor Jones. (full quote)
31851 my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks. -in a row? (full quote)
35445 (D:) You hate people! (R:)But I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic? (full quote)
37174 You think that's offensive? Check this out...(shows customer picture in magazine)...I think you can see her kidneys. (full quote)
40770 I am not any supose to be hear today. (full quote)
42249 Melodrama coming from you is about as natural as an oral bowel movement. (full quote)
42249 1) My only question is how did she come to have sex with the dead guy? 2) She thought it was me. 1) what kind of convenience store do you run here? (full quote)
42249 My love for you is like a truck, Berzerker! Would you like some making fuck, Berzerker! (full quote)
42249 1) I could never reach 2) Reach what, your dick? 1) Yeah, like you said everybody gets curious and tries it 2) I never tried it...fucking pervert (full quote)
43430 I'm not even supposed to BE here today (full quote)
43430 You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you. (full quote)
43430 Try not to suck any dicks on the wa to the parking lot...Hey you , get back here!!! (full quote)
44975 I'm in favor of a ruling. Especially since I rule. (full quote)
DoOrDoNot Noise, noise, noise. Smokin weed, smokin weed, doin coke, drinkin beers... Pack of wraps my good man, time to kick back, drink some beers and smoke some weed. (full quote)
  I'm not even supposed to BE here today!! (full quote)
48715 Melodrama coming from you is about as natural as a oral bowel movement. (full quote)
48715 1: You hate people! 2: I know. I hate people, but I love gatherings. Isn't that ironic. (full quote)
48715 'Empire' had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All 'Jedi' had was a bunch of Muppets. (full quote)
48715 Yeah, I mean aside from the cheating, we were a great couple. I mean that's what high school was about, algebra, bad lunch, and infidelity. (full quote)
48715 It's that kind of mentality that allows the cancer-producing industry to survive. Of course we're all going to die someday, but do we have to pay for it? Do we actually have to throw hard-earned dollars on the counter and say, 'Please, Mr. Merchant of Death, sir, please, sell me something that will stink up my breath and my clothes and fry my lungs?' (full quote)
seksydevil dante: my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks? guy: in a row?????....... (full quote)
seksydevil Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot (full quote)
Pynchjoy Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot. (full quote)