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Houseguest - 1995 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
6911 1)I'm NOT wearin' the hat! I hate hats! 2) Look, man, the woman is in a coma! The least you can do is wear the hat! 1)I'll wear the hat! (full quote)
6911 1) Kevin, when are you gonna grow UP!? 2)I'm growin' right now. [stands on tiptoes] See? (full quote)
6911 Denz-ail! DENZEL WASHINGTON! (full quote)
6911 1)Hey there, Chip! Slap me some skin! 2) How 'bout I just slap you? (full quote)
6911 THIS MAN NEEDS A TIC-TAC! (full quote)
Splent -Did you know Posiedon was an orphan too? - Everywhere we go someones an orphan. -Poseidon learned to apply himself, and he became ruler of the sea. -I don't care if he was chicken of the sea! I don't wanna be no Poseidon! (full quote)
Splent -what does that GFH stand for? -Oh, my great-grandfather, General Francois Heimlichmanuver, a WW1 adn 2. -Good guy. (full quote)
Splent -what does that stand for? -OH! the Gaming foundation of uh Harlem. -I've heard of that, its a charitable organization? -You said it! -what does that GFH stand for? -Oh, my great-grandfather, General Francois Heimlichmanuver, a WW1 adn 2. -Good guy. -what does it stand for? -*forgot what he said here* -Oh! -Graduated Full Honors; Oxford; But I guess you would know that. -I went to Harvard! -Yeah, right! Harvard Street! -Oh, its a gospel group I am in. Godlieness, faithfull and honest. -Amen. -Geeks for Hires. You'd fit in! You oughta try that out -Gas from humans -Girls from the hood -G-strings for the huge -Gotta feed the hungry -Girls feedin' the homies -Is that a joke? -Godlieness faithfull and honest, Ahhhh! -oh, oh,oh -Good, fine, and healthy. And baby, you know, BAM! you know what Im saying? -Hmph! (full quote)
Splent -*friend*what does that stand for? -*kevin*OH! the Gaming foundation of uh Harlem. -*friend*I've heard of that, its a charitable organization? -*kevin*You said it! -*old man*what does that GFH stand for? -*kevin*Oh, my great-grandfather, General Francois Heimlichmanuver, a WW1 adn 2. -*old man*Good guy. -*woman*what does it stand for? -*kevin**forgot what he said here* -*woman*Oh! -*kevin*Graduated Full Honors; Oxford; But I guess you would know that. -*man*I went to Harvard! -*kevin*Yeah, right! Harvard Street! -*kevin*Oh, its a gospel group I am in. Godlieness, faithfull and honest. -*Priest*Amen. -*kevin*Geeks for Hires. You'd fit in! You oughta try that out -*kevin*Gas from humans -*kevin*Girls from the hood -*kevin*G-strings for the huge -*kevin*Gotta feed the hungry -*kevin*Girls feedin' the homies -*caterer*Is that a joke? -*kevin singing*Godlieness faithfull and honest, Ahhhh! -*woman*oh, oh,oh -*kevin*Good, fine, and healthy. And baby, you know, BAM! you know what Im saying? -*woman*Hmph! (full quote)
Splent 1)Your balls dirty? 2)What? 1)I like my balls so clean that you can *sigh* feel every dimple. 2)OK. 1)The better the ball the better the play. Especially when you pull out that wood. The less amount of strokes you take to get it in the hole, the better, right? 2)youre sick, man. 1)Let me clean your balls for you. 2)Not as long as I have this stick, you won't! 1)We'll do them together. 2)No way, man! 1)I wash, you dry. Trust me. 2)Get away, man! 1)Fine, easy, chill!!! *puts golf ball into golf cleaner and cleans them, as 2 does a double take* (full quote)
Splent Do NOT call the house. Why? Sound triggers it off, Man. That phone rings; BAM!! Im talking about vomit coming up, the womans got the shakes (starts convulsing) its ugly, man! You dont' want to see that! Yeah, thats ugly (full quote)
11289 If it's a girl we want to name her either Amaretta, Caramel or Treblinka. (full quote)
  Now unzip your bag and pull out your balls! (full quote)
14154 1-goodnight irene, goodnight irene I'll see you in my... 2-..uh... 1-dreams 2-DREAMS!! I think I want some dairy queen (full quote)
19771 Oh. You just chew the gum. That's a option. (full quote)
  this is gay (full quote)
beekers A sandwich is a sandwich, but that's a meal! (full quote)
beekers There was blood and bubbles and butts and his eye was on me! His eye was on me, man!!! (full quote)
beekers I am a dentist, couldn't be prouder! I am a dentist, yell a little louder!! (full quote)
beekers Perky Girl: Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order? Kevin/Derek: Yes you may! (full quote)
beekers 1)Stuffed mushroom, sir? 2)Ugh, can't you tell I'm in training? I'm top seed in the Zwickley 5-k! (full quote)
beekers 1)Don't you smell the cork, swirl it around the glass? what about the legs? 2)what about the booty?! (full quote)
beekers 1)Then what the hell is this?! (rips open t-shirt to reveal a tattoo of a puny motorcyle/moped thing) 2)A Harley, European style? (full quote)
28233 1) So what do you think? (showing his wife to #2) 2) You're a lucky man! (#1's wife smiles, revealing a big gap in her teeth) Whoaaa! (full quote)
beekers load the grill with fatty meat. Put it on a bun and eat eat eat. (full quote)
beekers 1)good night, Irene, good night. good night, Irene, good night. good night, Irene, good night, Irene... 2)I wish I had some Dairy Queen! (full quote)
beekers That's some tight steering, boy, can't get that in American cars. (full quote)
beekers 1)Ugh, what is this? 2)Puree of parsnip and crookneck squash 1)I thought it was nacho cheese. (full quote)
beekers I have small hands, so that's why I invented the Derek Bonds two-handed grip... (full quote)
44895 Nun: You think you're the only orphan who ever grew up in Pittsburgh? Boy: No just the poorest! (full quote)
44895 Here's an activator, keep it wet! (full quote)
44895 If I could I would do it all over again, not for free but yeah.... (full quote)
44895 Time for...Cookin' in the Kitchen, with Kevin Franklin. what do we have? Oh we have salt for the children, we have cholesterol for the adults, we have fat for the fat people, we have sugar for the sugarholics and for the grown folks we have...MICKEY D's! That's what I'm talkin' about! (full quote)
44895 load the grill with fatty meat, put it on a bun and eat eat eat! (full quote)
44895 #1: My daughter is getting weirder and weirder. #2: Oh don't worry she'll grow out of it. (full quote)
44895 1) They delivered this to me 'cause you weren't here 2)Well, what is it? 1) How'm I supposed to know what this is! I'm outta here, I'm not Latoya Jackson!! (full quote)
44895 Say one of ems goin' to their car after the game get's hit POW! I don't wanna see it happen but if it does I'm gettin' PAID! THIS IS GONNA BE HUGE! (full quote)
44895 Lynn!! If you drive away I'm gonna be standing here pointin'! (full quote)
44895 1) Aw, come one Paulie I was hungry! 2)You're always hungry! 1) You don't never let me eat. 2)You're always eatin'! (full quote)
44895 1) interest and late fee penalties have accrued! 2) ACCRUED!!! (full quote)
  Sounds like you need a woman! Some people drink wine, some people date. (full quote)
1815 My great-grandfather, general Francois Heinrich Manuever, World War 1 and 2 (full quote)
10929 I went to Harvard. (full quote)
13284 Biker:(points to motorcycle)THIS is a Harley! what the HELL is this? (exposes tattoo of lousy cycle drawing)2:(stammers)A...Harley...uh, European style? (full quote)
29060 You stay tan, now (full quote)