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Major Payne - 1995 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
  You want sympathy? Look in the dictionary between shit and syphillis. (full quote)
4066 All right my little broussal sprouts (full quote)
5765 MP: (does sign language) If you don't listen when I'm talking to you, I'm gonna put my foot up your ass (full quote)
4619 Stone: what are you guys runnin for? It's only a dummy! Payne:(throws the grenade into the forest, waits for it to blow up 8 seconds later) Who's the dummy now? (full quote)
4619 Payne: Got no worries, got no cares!(echoed by the ROTC boys) I'm just a bald headed son of a bitch without hair.(echoed) (full quote)
6190 If he's in there, he ain't happy! (full quote)
6190 what the hell would anyone want with a blind dog? (full quote)
2431 *imitates porky pig* what are you laughing at pig boy? you find a cookie in your pocket? (full quote)
7749 You think your tears will stop charlie from stickin' his bayonnet in your tiny little heart? (full quote)
  I'll put my foot so far up your ass the water on my knee will quench your thirst! (full quote)
  Killin is my business..and biz-nis-is-gooooood! (full quote)
  (Boys doing push ups) Payne: One....don't you look dumb, Two.....look at you, Three....don't you ever make any stupid jokes behind my back about me (full quote)
11728 shut up bacon boy! make room for dinner!! drop down and give me twenty-five sit ups!! i want to see that belly roll!! (full quote)
11513 But, they's got to be somebody that needs some killin'. (full quote)
11513 Gentlemen, killin' is my business, and business is good! (full quote)
  (yelling) Did I give you permission to sneeze? (full quote)
  MP-There's Gotta be Someone left to kill... Col-Im Sorry major, there's no one left...You Killed 'em all. (full quote)
12504 I AM NOT YOUR DAMN BrothER (full quote)
1023 what you lookin' at ass-eyes? (full quote)
14459 Want me to teach you a little trick take your mind off the pain? Close your eyes... (full quote)
14738 if you don't shutup i'm gonna stick my foot up yo' ass(does a little hand movement) (full quote)
14903 1)major? don't you have something to say to these boys?2)maybe...I like ya..1)And...2)Maybe..I like you a lot...1)J-just like...that's it??2)Don't push the maybes...Baby. (full quote)
14955 what's your name girly mouth? (full quote)
14955 want me to tell you the story of the little engine that could, again? (full quote)
14955 ...he looked up at me and said payne, i can't feel my legs. i looked back and those little nubs was just a kickin and i said bubba that's cuz they aint there. (full quote)
  PAYNE: What's the matter, boy? Are you deaf or just plain stupid? RED-HEADED KID: Actually, sir, he is deaf. PAYNE: Oh,I'm sorry. NOW DROP down AND GIVE ME 25 MORE FOR SPEAKIN OUTTA LINE! (full quote)
  what's the matter pig boy u find a piece of candy in your pocket? (full quote)
  Payne: No, what he needs is for you to Pop yo' titty out his mouth and let the boy grow up. Ms. Walburn: Excuse me Major? Payne: I'm sorry, I said... Pop your Tit-tee OUT his mouth and let the boy grow up! (full quote)
  If I poke your stomach, will it make you go 'whoo-hoo'? (full quote)
  its been two whole weeks since i killed me man, and already I'm starting to feel the inch. Only problem is, I aint got nottin to scratch (full quote)
  you like the way i handle these white boys D? Yeah! make you feel good to see a black man running things? Malcom X! Ya know D? Come a little closer...I AM NOT YOUR DAMN BROTHA! DROP AND GIVE ME 20 SQUAT THRUSTS NOW! (full quote)
  Your still a shit sandwich, you just aint a soggy one' (full quote)
  ALEX: ooohh looks like we've got another major on our hands here guys! (full quote)
  Boy, I am two seconds away from being all over you like white on rice, a glass of milk and a paper plate in a snowstorm! (full quote)
  You want sympathy? Look in the dictionary between shit and syphilis! (full quote)
  KILLING IS MY business LADIES......AND business IS GOOOOOOOOOD! (full quote)
26497 1 Don't you feel dumb. 2 Look at you. 3 Don't you ever make jokes about me behind my back or I'll stomp you in the ground. (full quote)
  you still a shit sandwich you just ain't a soggy one (full quote)
KoolKatt 'You want sympathy? Look in the dictionary between shit and syphilis.' (full quote)
  (MP) You know, you're outta uniform Mr Fonzerelli... (full quote)
  y name is major benson winiford payne. As of o a hutrat, i am replacin major frankfurt as you commandin officer. (boos) gunshots. see what we have here, is a failure to communicate (full quote)
  Fee Fi Fo Fum, what beanstalk you fall from? (full quote)
  THEY OUTTA call ME PIMP DADDY PAYNE! (full quote)
  Don't touch the whistle! (full quote)
  The green boys. You know its funny, when they stand in front of the bushes, I can't see them! (full quote)
  ALRIGHT MY LITTLE BRUSSELL SPROUTS, ITS TIME TO UPROOT YOURSELVES...Tommorow the hard stuff begins...ah heh heh heh (full quote)
  1) I dont suppose you dance? 2) Well I have been known to cut a little rug in my day (full quote)
  I CANT HERE YOU !!! (full quote)
  what are you looking at ass eyes?...you plottin on me boy? (full quote)
  An Bubba come crawlen out the back and he says Pain, I cant feel my legs..., and i said Bubba They aint there! (full quote)
  Going back to killen, wanna come? (full quote)
  I see hear We have a failure to communicate (full quote)
  My name is Major Benson Winniford Payne and as of 0800 I am replacing Major Frankford as your commanding officer. See what we have here is a failure to communicate. Do not attempt to challenge my authority. I have eight weeks, to turn you gaggling maggots into a well disciplined cadet unit. From this day forward your sorry asses belong to me. You will not eat, sleep, drink, blow your nose or even digging your butts without my says so. Know this, Killin is my business ladies and business IS GOOD! (full quote)
  Did I give you permission to sneeze Opie? You suck it in you big earred turd or I'll kick your ass back to Maybury! major Payne to Red-headed kid. (full quote)
  We are going to win the Military games, That's WIN........Whiskey, India, November. (full quote)
  Payne: it's been to whole weeks since i kilt' me a man and i'm alreade' startin' to get the itch, problem is...i ain' got nothin' to scratch. god i'm hungre', hungre for action, hungre for blood, hell, i'm just plain ol' hungre....feel i'm gettin' weaker, while charle is gettin' stronger in the jungle...i can't loose my edge, i gotta keep my strength up, i gotta maintain disaplin, becuase the reality was...i gotta get a job... (full quote)
  Hello gorgeous, welcome to my party. (full quote)
  I'ma clean yo colon out quicker than one of dem burritos wit extra guacamole sauce (full quote)
  Let me show you a little trick that will take your mind of that pain!! (full quote)
  MP: Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Handicap man. Do you speak sign language? Do you read lips? Ok, lemme break it down for you. If YOU don't ANSWER me when i speak to you, I'm gonna put my foot, IN YOUR ASS IS THAT CLEAR DUMMY?! Cadet: Dir yes dir! (full quote)
  MP: Used to be samson now i'm ann Cadets echoing: Used to be samson now i'm ann MP: gotta earn my right to be called a man Cadets: gotta earn my right to be called a man (full quote)
  MP: I'd like for you to think of me, not only as your commanding officer, but as, your friend. (full quote)
  ONE chubby tubby...TWO chubby tubby....THREE chubby tubby (full quote)
  I'm sorry major. There's no one left. You've killed them all (full quote)
  I guess no one's responsible. I guess I just had that one a-comin. Well, you know what you've all got coming. Seven, 23 hour days full of fun and adventure. I'm gonna make you boys STRONG! (full quote)
  I see you've got a sense of humor. So do I. He He He. (full quote)
  Bleep Bleep Bleep.. wut u laughing bout, Pig boy? did u find sum tinkies in ur pocket? ... i bet if u poke u in ur belly u go pahoooo! im sorry mr.handicap man i didn`t mean to offend u.. do u read lips? do u know sign language? let me break it down 4 u.. if u dont listen to me when i talk to u im gonna put mah foot in ur ass!! understand?.. der ya der!! (full quote)
  Major Payne:I Don't Like my brother! (full quote)
  Major Payne:I AM NOT YOUR DAMN BrothER (full quote)
  Major Payne: I'm sorry, Mr. Handicapped Man. I did not mean to offend you. Do you understand sign language? Can you read lips? Well if you don't answer me when I speak to you, I'm gonna put my foot in your ass, is that clear dummy? (full quote)
  can you read lips? You understand sign language? Next time when i'm talking to you, and you don't answer me, I'll stick my foot in your ass YOU UNDERSTAND ME SON! Dir yeh dir! (full quote)
13284 1. what happened to 'family' and 'unity' and all that other bullshit you taught us? 2. I never said family don't break up. Don't you watch Oprah? (full quote)
13284 what do you want, Mister Pee-body? (full quote)
13284 Oh, child-dreeen! Somebody gonna answer for this blood on my lip, I want names! (full quote)
13284 What do you think I was gonna do, marry you? Adopt Tiger, put up a white picket fence and become a male role model? That's not me! That's not Payne! (full quote)
Nemo That's a mighty fine handshake ya got there. Ya wanna wrestle (full quote)
29926 -I can't feel my legs! -Bubba, you ain't got no legs (full quote)
31059 Now see what we have here is a faliure to communicate. Do not attempt to challenge my authority. I have 8 weeks to turn you gaggle of maggots into a displin cadet unit. From this day forward your sorry asses belong to me. You will not eat, sleep, blow your nose or even dig in your butts without my say so. No this, killin is my buisnees ladies and buisness is good (full quote)
31819 My name is major Benson Winifred Payne. As of 0800 i am ur commanding officer. Do-not-a-tempt-to-chall-enge but authority. Know this killin is my buisness ladies and buz-ness-is-gooood! (full quote)
31819 Payne - LOVE MY BARICKS NIGHT AND DAY kids - LOVE MY BARICKS NIGHT AND DAY Payne - WONT COMPLAIN THATS WHERE ILL STAY kids - WONT COMPLAIN THATS WHERE ILL STAY nice job this time dotson! Payne - ALRITE MY LIL PATCH OF BRUSSEL SPUOUT UPROOT URSELVES AND GET SOME REST TOMORROW WE GONNA start THE HARD STUFF Heathcoat- HARD STUFF? (full quote)
31819 You will not eat, sleep, pick ur nose, or even dig in ur butt without my say so. AHHCHHHHHHHOOOO what the hell was that u lil freckled face cartoon. AHHHCHHHHHOOO. i see we have a sickly boy on on hands well were gonna help bost ur imune system so drop down give me push ups. (full quote)
39602 One tubby tubby two tubby tubby... (full quote)
42119 It had been a while since I killed me a man (full quote)
43295 #1: I can't feel my legs #2: Bubba...they aint there (full quote)
marvin mcgoo Have you ever heard the story about the little engine that could? Let me tell you about that story.Deep deep in the jungle there was this little engine that could. CHUGGA, CHUGGA,TOOT TOOT.He was carrying some ak47's and a nuclear payload to the 6023 battalion.Just chugging along chugga,chugga,toot,toot. (full quote)
marvin mcgoo Slippery he say.You think Charlie cares about slippery?He will slip your throat. (full quote)
Lauren You know, that was the first time I ever drove a man's nose up into his brain, causin instant death and simultaneous bowel evacuation. But enough about me, woman. what's your story? (full quote)
sampsonmax don't push the maybe (full quote)