Ben Stiller quotes
- From the movie: Zoolander
- Derek Zoolander: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career".
- Matilda Jeffries: Do what for a career?
- Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good... (continue)(continue reading) - From the movie: Meet the Fockers
“- Rozalin Focker: See that's Greg getting circumcised.
- Bernie Focker: We had the ceremony at my parents' house. There was a cold snap and the heat conked out. Tell it.
- Rozalin Focker: The heater conked out. No matter how hard he tried, the mohel couldn't coax Greggie's tiny little turtle from it's shell.
- Greg Focker: You know what? Let's...” (continue)(continue reading) - From the movie: While We're Young
“- Jamie: I really loved your film. That scene with the dogs around the garbage. How did you stage that?
- Josh: I said 'Hey, shoot those dogs'.” - From the movie: Happy Gilmore
“- Nursing Home Orderly: Good news, everybody, we're extending arts and crafts time by four hours today.
- Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt.
- Nursing Home Orderly: What's that?
- Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt.
- Nursing Home Orderly: Oh, well, now your back's gonna hurt, 'cause you just pulled landscaping duty. Anybody else's fingers hurt?... I...” (continue)(continue reading) - From the movie: Happy Gilmore
- From the movie: Next of Kin
“- Lawrence Isabella: I've heard a lot about you.
- Joey Rosselini: Yeah? Good things, I hope.” - From the movie: Zoolander 2
“- Valentina: Please accept my apologies.
- Derek Zoolander: None taken.” - From the movie: Tower Heist
“- Slide: A robbery can change very quickly. You have to be ready to adapt to the situation at any moment. Anything can happen. I was on a job a few days ago and my homie got shot in the face!
- Josh Kovacs: If you get shot in the face, it's over.
- Slide: If you get shot in your head, it's over. If you get shot in your face, the bullet will go...” (continue)(continue reading) - From the movie: Zoolander 2
“- Valentina: Be careful, he’ll try to get inside your head.
- Derek Zoolander: Don’t worry, it’s closed for business.” - From the animation: Madagascar
- Gloria: Is this place great or what?
- Alex: I'd go with "or what". - From the movie: Duplex
“I can't work here. I've been trying. It's impossible. I've written three pages in the last six weeks. Three pages! The book is due on Wednesday. If we don't hand in the book I don't know what we're gonna do. We can't pay for anything.”
- From the movie: Zoolander 2
“I'm going to retire, withdraw from public life, and become a hermit crab.”
- From the movie: Meet The Parents
- From the movie: Meet the Fockers
“- Greg Focker: They don't call me Barry Poppins for nothing.
- Jack Byrnes: Why would someone call you Barry Poppins?
- Greg Focker: They wouldn't.” - From the movie: While We're Young
- From the movie: Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
“- Peter La Fleur: White, you're a lot dumber than I thought.
- White Goodman: Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you thought that I think that I thought that I was once.” - From the movie: Mystery Men
“- Mr. Furious: Seems there was a little controversy there regarding your father's death.
- The Bowler: Yes, the police said he fell down an elevator shaft. Onto some bullets.
- The Blue Raja: You know, I've alwas suspected a bit of foul play there.
- The Bowler: As have I.” - From the movie: While We're Young
“- Leslie Breitbart: How's my daughter?
- Josh: How's she seem to you?
- Leslie Breitbart: Seems well.
- Josh: So why are you asking me?” - From the movie: Zoolander 2
- From the movie: Meet The Parents
- From the animation: Madagascar
“You know, by the time we get back to New York, it'll be the middle of winter. So I was thinking, why rush? Maybe we could make a few sidestops along the way.”
- From the movie: While We're Young
“For the first time in my life I've stopped thinking of myself as a child imitating an adult.”
- From the movie: Zoolander 2
“- Derek Jr.: You're the most narcissistic person I've ever met.
- Derek Zoolander: But that's not how I see myself.” - From the movie: Keeping the Faith
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: There's a reason pandas don't mate in captivity.
- Anna Riley: What does that mean?
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: It means these mothers keep making these dates for me that I can't refuse. They're very intimidating, they're like the Kosher Nostra. They're little women but very determined. - From the animation: Madagascar
“My little filet mignon with a little fat around the edges. I like that. I like a little fat on my steak. My sweet, juicy steak. You are a rare delicacy.”
Highlights