Ben Stiller movie quotes

“- Slide: A robbery can change very quickly. You have to be ready to adapt to the situation at any moment. Anything can happen. I was on a job a few days ago and my homie got shot in the face!
- Josh Kovacs: If you get shot in the face, it's over.
- Slide: If you get shot in your head, it's over. If you get shot in your face, the bullet will go...” (continue)(continue reading)
Eddie Murphy - Slide
Ben Stiller - Josh Kovacs
Casey Affleck - Cole Howard

- Derek Zoolander: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career".
- Matilda Jeffries: Do what for a career?
- Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good... (continue)(continue reading)

Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander
Christine Taylor - Matilda Jeffries

“- Rozalin Focker: See that's Greg getting circumcised.
- Bernie Focker: We had the ceremony at my parents' house. There was a cold snap and the heat conked out. Tell it.
- Rozalin Focker: The heater conked out. No matter how hard he tried, the mohel couldn't coax Greggie's tiny little turtle from it's shell.
- Greg Focker: You know what? Let's...” (continue)(continue reading)

Barbra Streisand - Rozalin Focker
Dustin Hoffman - Bernie Focker
Ben Stiller - Greg Focker

“This thing that you do, Ted, where you come into a place and push people out, you should know those people worked really hard to build this magazine. They believed in the motto. And I get it, you've got your marchingorders and you have to do what you have to do, but you don't have to be such a dick. Put that on a plaque and hang it at your next...” (continue)(continue reading)

Ben Stiller - Walter Mitty

“Oh my God! Oh my God! My twin brother has been shot! I think it was an Asian gang or something... there was this guy, he looked Asian... and he was speaking another language, I'm pretty sure it was... Asian.”

Ben Stiller - Sam Sweet

“Attention campers. Lunch has been cancelled due to lack of hustle. Deal with it.”
Ben Stiller - Tony Perkis

“- Tony Perkis: Can you smell it? There's a life force in here tonight. Do you feel it? Hmm? I look around this room, and I see potential.
[to Gerry]
- Tony Perkis: I see the future chairman of a Fortune 500 company.
[to Roy]
- Tony Perkis: I see a famous rap artist.
[to Nicholas]
- Tony Perkis: I see the president of the United States of...” (continue)(continue reading)
Ben Stiller - Tony Perkis
Aaron Schwartz - Gerald 'Gerry' Garner

“- Jamie: I really loved your film. That scene with the dogs around the garbage. How did you stage that?
- Josh: I said 'Hey, shoot those dogs'.”
Adam Driver - Jamie
Ben Stiller - Josh

“- Nursing Home Orderly: Good news, everybody, we're extending arts and crafts time by four hours today.
- Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt.
- Nursing Home Orderly: What's that?
- Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt.
- Nursing Home Orderly: Oh, well, now your back's gonna hurt, 'cause you just pulled landscaping duty. Anybody else's fingers hurt?... I...” (continue)(continue reading)
Ben Stiller - Orderly in Nursing Home
Betty Linde - Elderly Woman

“- Grandma: Sir, can I trouble you for a glass of warm milk? It helps me go to sleep.
- Nursing Home Orderly: You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! Now, you will go to sleep! Or I will put you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You're in my world now, grandma!”
Frances Bay - Grandma
Ben Stiller - Orderly in Nursing Home

“- Lawrence Isabella: I've heard a lot about you.
- Joey Rosselini: Yeah? Good things, I hope.”
Ben Stiller - Lawrence Isabella
Adam Baldwin - Joey Rosselini

“- Valentina: Please accept my apologies.
- Derek Zoolander: None taken.”
Penelope Cruz - Valentina Valencia
Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander

“- Valentina: Be careful, he’ll try to get inside your head.
- Derek Zoolander: Don’t worry, it’s closed for business.”
Penelope Cruz - Valentina Valencia
Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander

- Gloria: Is this place great or what?
- Alex: I'd go with "or what".
Jada Pinkett Smith - Gloria
Ben Stiller - Alex

“I can't work here. I've been trying. It's impossible. I've written three pages in the last six weeks. Three pages! The book is due on Wednesday. If we don't hand in the book I don't know what we're gonna do. We can't pay for anything.”
Ben Stiller - Alex Rose

“I'm going to retire, withdraw from public life, and become a hermit crab.”
Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander

“- Jack Byrnes: I thought your name was Greg.
- Greg Focker: It is.
- Late Night Courier: That's not what it says here.
- Greg Focker: Gaylord is my legalname. Nobody's called me by it since third grade.
- Denny Byrnes: Wait a minute, so your name is Gay Focker?”
Robert De Niro - Jack Byrnes
Ben Stiller - Greg Focker
Russell Hornsby - Late Night Courier
Jon Abrahams - Denny Byrnes

“- Greg Focker: They don't call me Barry Poppins for nothing.
- Jack Byrnes: Why would someone call you Barry Poppins?
- Greg Focker: They wouldn't.”
Ben Stiller - Greg Focker
Robert De Niro - Jack Byrnes

- Cornelia: My dad likes saying, "The more, the more."
- Josh: That's because your dad has everything and then he gets more.
Naomi Watts - Cornelia
Ben Stiller - Josh

“- Peter La Fleur: White, you're a lot dumber than I thought.
- White Goodman: Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you thought that I think that I thought that I was once.”
Vince Vaughn - Peter La Fleur
Ben Stiller - White Goodman

“- Mr. Furious: Seems there was a little controversy there regarding your father's death.
- The Bowler: Yes, the police said he fell down an elevator shaft. Onto some bullets.
- The Blue Raja: You know, I've alwas suspected a bit of foul play there.
- The Bowler: As have I.”

Ben Stiller - Furious
Janeane Garofalo - Bowler
Hank Azaria - Blue Raja

“- Leslie Breitbart: How's my daughter?
- Josh: How's she seem to you?
- Leslie Breitbart: Seems well.
- Josh: So why are you asking me?”
Charles Grodin - Leslie Breitbart
Ben Stiller - Josh

“- Geoff Mille: Meet the biggest supermodel in the whole world, he is All.
- Derek Zoolander: Are you like a male model or a female model?
- All: All is all.
- Hansel: Well I think he’s asking do you have a hotdog or a bun?”
Beck Bennett - Geoff Mille
Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander
Owen Wilson - Hansel

“- Dina Byrnes: Now Greg, you have a very unique last name. Um, we were curious, how do you pronounce it?
- Greg Focker: Oh, just like it's spelled. F-O-C-K-E-R.
- Dina Byrnes: F-Focker.”
Blythe Danner - Dina Byrnes
Ben Stiller - Greg Focker

“You know, by the time we get back to New York, it'll be the middle of winter. So I was thinking, why rush? Maybe we could make a few sidestops along the way.”

Ben Stiller - Alex