Ben Stiller movie quotes

“- Jamie: I really loved your film. That scene with the dogs around the garbage. How did you stage that?
- Josh: I said 'Hey, shoot those dogs'.”
Adam Driver - Jamie
Ben Stiller - Josh

“- Nursing Home Orderly: Good news, everybody, we're extending arts and crafts time by four hours today.
- Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt.
- Nursing Home Orderly: What's that?
- Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt.
- Nursing Home Orderly: Oh, well, now your back's gonna hurt, 'cause you just pulled landscaping duty. Anybody else's fingers hurt?... I...” (continue)(continue reading)
Ben Stiller - Orderly in Nursing Home
Betty Linde - Elderly Woman

“- Grandma: Sir, can I trouble you for a glass of warm milk? It helps me go to sleep.
- Nursing Home Orderly: You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! Now, you will go to sleep! Or I will put you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You're in my world now, grandma!”
Frances Bay - Grandma
Ben Stiller - Orderly in Nursing Home

“- Lawrence Isabella: I've heard a lot about you.
- Joey Rosselini: Yeah? Good things, I hope.”
Ben Stiller - Lawrence Isabella
Adam Baldwin - Joey Rosselini

“- Valentina: Please accept my apologies.
- Derek Zoolander: None taken.”
Penelope Cruz - Valentina Valencia
Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander

“- Slide: A robbery can change very quickly. You have to be ready to adapt to the situation at any moment. Anything can happen. I was on a job a few days ago and my homie got shot in the face!
- Josh Kovacs: If you get shot in the face, it's over.
- Slide: If you get shot in your head, it's over. If you get shot in your face, the bullet will go...” (continue)(continue reading)
Eddie Murphy - Slide
Ben Stiller - Josh Kovacs
Casey Affleck - Cole Howard

“- Valentina: Be careful, he’ll try to get inside your head.
- Derek Zoolander: Don’t worry, it’s closed for business.”
Penelope Cruz - Valentina Valencia
Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander

- Gloria: Is this place great or what?
- Alex: I'd go with "or what".
Jada Pinkett Smith - Gloria
Ben Stiller - Alex

“I can't work here. I've been trying. It's impossible. I've written three pages in the last six weeks. Three pages! The book is due on Wednesday. If we don't hand in the book I don't know what we're gonna do. We can't pay for anything.”
Ben Stiller - Alex Rose

“I'm going to retire, withdraw from public life, and become a hermit crab.”
Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander

“- Jack Byrnes: I thought your name was Greg.
- Greg Focker: It is.
- Late Night Courier: That's not what it says here.
- Greg Focker: Gaylord is my legalname. Nobody's called me by it since third grade.
- Denny Byrnes: Wait a minute, so your name is Gay Focker?”
Robert De Niro - Jack Byrnes
Ben Stiller - Greg Focker
Russell Hornsby - Late Night Courier
Jon Abrahams - Denny Byrnes

“- Greg Focker: They don't call me Barry Poppins for nothing.
- Jack Byrnes: Why would someone call you Barry Poppins?
- Greg Focker: They wouldn't.”
Ben Stiller - Greg Focker
Robert De Niro - Jack Byrnes

- Cornelia: My dad likes saying, "The more, the more."
- Josh: That's because your dad has everything and then he gets more.
Naomi Watts - Cornelia
Ben Stiller - Josh

“- Peter La Fleur: White, you're a lot dumber than I thought.
- White Goodman: Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you thought that I think that I thought that I was once.”
Vince Vaughn - Peter La Fleur
Ben Stiller - White Goodman

“- Mr. Furious: Seems there was a little controversy there regarding your father's death.
- The Bowler: Yes, the police said he fell down an elevator shaft. Onto some bullets.
- The Blue Raja: You know, I've alwas suspected a bit of foul play there.
- The Bowler: As have I.”

Ben Stiller - Furious
Janeane Garofalo - Bowler
Hank Azaria - Blue Raja

“- Leslie Breitbart: How's my daughter?
- Josh: How's she seem to you?
- Leslie Breitbart: Seems well.
- Josh: So why are you asking me?”
Charles Grodin - Leslie Breitbart
Ben Stiller - Josh

“- Geoff Mille: Meet the biggest supermodel in the whole world, he is All.
- Derek Zoolander: Are you like a male model or a female model?
- All: All is all.
- Hansel: Well I think he’s asking do you have a hotdog or a bun?”
Beck Bennett - Geoff Mille
Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander
Owen Wilson - Hansel

“- Dina Byrnes: Now Greg, you have a very unique last name. Um, we were curious, how do you pronounce it?
- Greg Focker: Oh, just like it's spelled. F-O-C-K-E-R.
- Dina Byrnes: F-Focker.”
Blythe Danner - Dina Byrnes
Ben Stiller - Greg Focker

“You know, by the time we get back to New York, it'll be the middle of winter. So I was thinking, why rush? Maybe we could make a few sidestops along the way.”

Ben Stiller - Alex

- Derek Zoolander: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career".
- Matilda Jeffries: Do what for a career?
- Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good... (continue)(continue reading)

Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander
Christine Taylor - Matilda Jeffries

“For the first time in my life I've stopped thinking of myself as a child imitating an adult.”
Ben Stiller - Josh

“- Derek Jr.: You're the most narcissistic person I've ever met.
- Derek Zoolander: But that's not how I see myself.”
Cyrus Arnold - Derek Jr.
Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander

- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: There's a reason pandas don't mate in captivity.
- Anna Riley: What does that mean?
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: It means these mothers keep making these dates for me that I can't refuse. They're very intimidating, they're like the Kosher Nostra. They're little women but very determined.
Ben Stiller - Rabbi Jake Schram
Jenna Elfman - Anna Riley

“My little filet mignon with a little fat around the edges. I like that. I like a little fat on my steak. My sweet, juicy steak. You are a rare delicacy.”

Ben Stiller - Alex

“- Dr. Nagato: You have arthritis in your knee.
- Josh: Arthritis arthritis?
- Dr. Nagato: Yes. I usually just say it once.”
James Saito - Dr. Nagato
Ben Stiller - Josh