Walter Matthau quotes
“When I had my ulcers, I was farting razor blades.”
“- Miles Kendig: I'm going to tell the truth.
- Isobel von Schmidt: Oh, it's a work of fiction! Ah!”
“The first girl you go to bed with is always pretty.”
“Every actor looks all his life for a part that will combine his talents with his personality.”
“- Felix Ungar: How long was I asleep?
- Oscar Madison: I don't know. I didn't know you wanted me to time it.”
“There are many fish In the sea but you’re the only one I'd want to stuff and mount over my fireplace.”
“- Engelberg: You're not supposed to have open liquor in the car. It's against the law.
- Coach Morris Buttermaker: So is murder, Engleberg. Now put that back before you get me in real trouble.”
“- Albert Einstein: Are you thinking what I am thinking?
- Ed Walters: Well what would be the odds of that happening?”
“- Charlie Gordon: Liz... from the first moment I saw you on that ship... it was my intention to lie to you, I swear.
- Liz LaBreche: Well, that's sweet.
- Charlie Gordon: What I didn't intend, was falling in love with you.”
“Zat gravity, it's a killer.”
“- Clooney: Have you ever been married, Mr. Trabucco?
- Trabucco: Once but I got rid of her. Now I just lease.”
“Why don't you do the world a favor and take your lower lip and pull it over your head and swallow?”
“- Charlie Gordon: Why are you sterilizing your trousers?
- Herb Sullivan: I'm steaming them.
- Charlie Gordon: Oh, then what are you gonna' do, eat 'em with garlic butter?
- Herb Sullivan: It takes the wrinkles out, you imbecile!
- Charlie Gordon: Huh! When a man is steaming his pants at midnight, it generally means there's a broad.”
“Money is too expensive to be earned that way, Yaskov.”
“- Oscar Madison: I think I figured out where we are.
- Felix Ungar: Where?
- Oscar Madison: In a Clint Eastwood movie.”
“- Coach Morris Buttermaker: Come on, fellas. Rome wasn't built in a day.
- Ogilvie: Yeah, it took several hundred years.”