Woody Allen movie quotes

“Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy
your children will not have declared you legally insane in order
to gain control of your estate.”
Woody Allen

“I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness
is me.”
Woody Allen

“If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not
doing anything very innovative.”
Woody Allen

“It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still
carry a tune.”
Woody Allen

“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”
Woody Allen

“Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.”
Woody Allen

“On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done
just as easily lying down.”
Woody Allen

“Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a
year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one
considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.”
Woody Allen

“Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.”
Woody Allen

“Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you can
get between the right man and the right woman.”
Woody Allen

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”
Woody Allen

“Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty
experiences go, it's one of the best.”
Woody Allen

“You mellow too much you ripen and rot.”
Woody Allen

“Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.”
Woody Allen

“To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.”
Woody Allen

“Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.”
Woody Allen

“- Ellie: You were on the cutting edge of everything.
- Val: So, how did I go from the cutting edge to the buttering edge?”
Téa Leoni - Ellie
Woody Allen - Val

“I plan to run though the Valley of Death.”
Woody Allen

“What happened after the honeymoon? Did desire grow or did familiarity make partners want other lovers? Was the notion of ever-deepening romance a myth along with simultaneous orgasm? The only time Rifkin and his wife experienced one was when they were granted their divorce. Maybe in the end, the idea was not to expect too much out of life.”
Woody Allen - Gabe Roth

“Jesus is dead, Marx is dead, Elvis is dead, and I'm not feeling too good myself.”
Woody Allen

“The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.”
Woody Allen

“What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.”
Woody Allen

“I found the Picasso. It wasn't easy. I was looking for a woman with a guitar and it was all cubes. It took me two hours to find her nose.”
Woody Allen - CW Briggs

“I try to give them a little culture now and then so they don't beat each other to death with bicycle chains all the time.”

Woody Allen - David Dobel

“Never trust a nakedbus driver.”
Woody Allen - David Dobel