“Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you.”
“- Stu: You are a fucking moron! - Alan: Your language is offensive. - Stu: Fuck you!”
“If a guy fucking tripped over a banana peel, they'd bring me in for it.”
“In the casino, the cardinal rule is to keep them playing and to keep them coming back. The longer they play, the more they lose, and in the end, we...”
“Authority should derive from the consent of the governed, not from threat of force!”
“Look, it's simple. Skateboard? College! Little League trophy? Probably attic. Apple core? Trash.”
“It's only the offspring of slaves that allows America to be competitive athletically. American Olympic gold can be measured in Negro sweat.”
“I'm aware what tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity.”
“A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water log stick will do just fine.”
“- Jenny: You're part of the plan. - John: Oh yeah? - Jenny: My plan... step 1: meet an incredibly sweet, smart, sexy man. - John: Done. Step 2? - J...”