“For one dollar, I'll guess your weight, your height, or your sex.”
“- Patty Bernstein: Give me a bite of that corn dog. - Navin: What about germs? - Patty Bernstein: Put a rubber on it.”
“Never hate your enemies, it affects your judgment.”
“It's part of the wedding. No Sicilian can ever refuse a request on his daughter's wedding day.”
“I think being a good father is keeping the mother happy so she doesn't drive the kids crazy.”
“- Voice of Mikey: How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? - Sand Box Baby: How many? - Voice of Mikey: What's a light bulb?”
“Never show any mercy. If you do, people will take advantage of you.”
“The whole war may be futile. But would you give up then?”
“The way you deal with bullies: you take your right foot, bring it right up and catch him in his little piss pump.”
“You're a superhero. Kids should be running up to you, asking for your autograph, people should be cheering you on the streets...”