“I've finally found someone I can love, a good, clean love... without utensils.”
“Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50/50 chance of living, though there's only a 10 percent chance of that.”
“- Sister Helen Prejean: Show me some respect, Matthew.
- Matthew Poncelet: Why? 'Cause you're a nun?
- Sister Helen Prejean: Because I'm a person.”
“Only three days left. Plenty of time to read my Bible and look for a loophole.”
“For one dollar, I'll guess your weight, your height, or your sex.”
“- Patty Bernstein: Give me a bite of that corn dog.
- Navin: What about germs?
- Patty Bernstein: Put a rubber on it.”
“Never hate your enemies, it affects your judgment.”
“It's part of the wedding. No Sicilian can ever refuse a request on his daughter's wedding day.”
“I think being a good father is keeping the mother happy so she doesn't drive the kids crazy.”
“- Voice of Mikey: How many babies does it take to change a light bulb?
- Sand Box Baby: How many?
- Voice of Mikey: What's a light bulb?”
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