“Guest House Paradiso” quotes

(1999)
Movie Guest House Paradiso
Title Guest House Paradiso
Year 1999
Director Adrian Edmondson
Genre Comedy, Thriller
Plot – The Guest House Paradiso is a Victorian and Gothic styled hotel that stands on a hill. The two managers, Richie and Eddie, have five guests: two couples and old lady Foxfur, until the Nices and cinema star Gina Carbonara arrive unexpectedly. The service is awful and the cooks escape. Richie and Eddie run away hotfoot too. Mr. Nice discovers Richie has rummaged in his underwear and wants to go to the police. Gino, Gina's boyfriend, arrives suddenly and asks her to marry, but she rejects him, so he consoles himself eating fish at the hotel. Shortly after, Z Squad experts find the fish of the area is radioactive and all the guests begin to vomit. Richie, Eddie and Gina save themselves and some emissaries offer them 10 million pounds to not reveal the fact. They accept the money and travel to the Caribbean on vacation.
All actors – Rik Mayall, Adrian Edmondson, Bill Nighy, Kate Ashfield, Steven O'Donnell, Fenella Fielding, Charles Cartmell, Vincent Cassel, Hélène Mahieu, Paul Garcia, Sophia Myles, Emma Pierson
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  • “- Richard Twat: I trust you've slept well?
    - Mr. Johnson: We had rather a rough night, actually.
    - Richard Twat: Ah well, the perils of adultery.”

    Rik Mayall - Richard Twat
    Bill Nighy - Mr. Johnson
  • “- Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba: Chef's hurt himself.
    - Richard Twat: How badly?
    - Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba: Indescribably badly. He hit his head on a frying pan seventeen times.”

    Adrian Edmondson - Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba
    Rik Mayall - Richard Twat
    [Tag:pain]
  • “As we always say at the Guest House Paradiso: have fun, don't go in the water if you know what's good for you and try not to get shit on the sheets.”
    Rik Mayall - Richard Twat
  • “- Richard Twat: I trust you two both washed.
    - Mr. Johnson: Actually, the water was cold.
    - Richard Twat: That's no reason not to wash, is it? Good grief, we are British, you know. We invented cold showers to stop people masturbating. Oh, I see, maybe that's why you are so upset about the lack of hot water.”

    Rik Mayall - Richard Twat
    Bill Nighy - Mr. Johnson
  • “- Richard Twat: What about the watch, then? Is that expensive?
    - Mr Nice: Oh, it's just a cheap copy.
    - Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba: Well, that will do, the pawnbroker is very shortsighted.
    - Richard Twat: Eddie means that you don't need a watch in paradise. Time stops here.”

    Rik Mayall - Richard Twat
    Lisa Palfrey - Mrs. Nice
    Adrian Edmondson - Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba
    [Tag:clock, heaven, time]
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