“The nothingness looks, feels and bounces like tofu... which, ironically, tastes like nothing.”

David Hewlett - Dave

“- Casey: Three happy years of veggie burgers and acidophilus.
- Nick: Those are scrambled eggs.
- Casey: Scrambled Tofutti.
- Nick: Fuck, dude. Rod Serling's gonna step outta that fridge any second.”
Paulina Porizkova - Casey
Aaron Eckhart - Nick

“- Cole: What the hell kind of brownies are these ?
- Charlie Conway: I gotta tell her to stop using the horse turds in the recipe.”

Michael Cudlitz - Cole
Joshua Carter Jackson - Charlie Conway

“- David Leary: What is this?
- Clark: Hot Dish.
- David Leary: What's Hot Dish?
- Clark: Well, last week we had lasagna, then it become spaghetti and when it's finally unrecognizable, they call it Hot Dish.”

Rick Moranis - David Leary
Curtis Armstrong - Clark

“- Sandy Lidz: I can't eat these.
- Amelia: Why not?
- Sandy Lidz: They look like doodie cakes.”
Kendra Krull - Sandy Lidz
Celia Weston - Amelia