“- Trixie Lorraine: Isn't there going to be any comedy in the show?
- Barney Hopkins: Oh, plenty! The gay side, the hard-boiled side, the cynical and funny side of the Depression!”
Aline MacMahon - Trixie Lorraine
Ned Sparks - Barney Hopkins

“I wasn't planning on being a comedian; I just liked to laugh.”
Jamie Kennedy

“I must congratulate you on your virtuoso performance, my boy. Centauri is impressed. I've seen them come, and I've seen them go, but you're the best, my boy. Dazzling! Light years ahead of the competition! Centauri's got a little proposition for you. Are ya interested?”

Robert Preston - Centauri

“- Rudy Zolteck: How'd I do, coach?
- Kevin O'Shea: I don't know son. I don't have a sundial.”

Michael Zwiener - Rudy Zolteck
Ed O'Neill - Kevin O'Shea

“You didn't land it.”

Ryan Dunn - himself