Humor quotes

“I have been accused of being a joker. But the most successful art to me involves humor.”
Man Ray

“If I ever have sex with someone I might be able to develop a sense of humor.”
Kate Beckinsale

“Humor is healing.”
Brad Garrett

“I want everything I do to have humor in it, because it seems to me that all of life has that.”
Lawrence Kasdan

“Pitcher's got a big butt! Pitcher's got a big butt!”
Thomas Ian Nicholas - Henry Rowengartner

“- Miss McAdam: There is nothing wrong with soap. Soap was good enough for our Lord. I expect.
- Mrs. Kehoe: Well, which brand did he use, Miss McAdam? Does the Bible tell you that?”
Mary O'Driscoll - Miss McAdam
Julie Walters - Mrs. Kehoe

“- Wayne Kerrigan: How's Mum?
- Dale Kerrigan: Good.
- Wayne Kerrigan: How's Dad?
- Dale Kerrigan: Good.
- Wayne Kerrigan: How's Trace?
- Dale Kerrigan: Good.
- Wayne Kerrigan: How are you?
- Dale Kerrigan: Good.
- Wayne Kerrigan: How's Steve?
- Dale Kerrigan: He's all right.
- Wayne Kerrigan: Good.
- Dale Kerrigan: [voice-over] We could just...” (continue) (continue reading)
Wayne Hope - Wayne Kerrigan
Stephen Curry - Dale Kerrigan

“A comedian says funny things. A comic says things funny.”
Ed Wynn

“- Pat Candy: Jane Bodine.
- Jane: Pat.
- Pat Candy: So, what you're doing here? I thought you retired, or gave up or something.
- Jane: What happened to your hair?
- Pat Candy: So you still got a great sense of humor.”
Billy Bob Thornton - Pat Candy
Sandra Bullock - Jane

“Oooh, I love legends! Loch Ness, Bigfoot, Bon Jovi... all of 'em!”
Angela Trimbur - Tina

“- Fred Haymes: Why don´t you seat?
- Carol Aird: Why is it people think you take better bad news if you´re sitting down?”
Kevin Crowley - Fred Haymes
Cate Blanchett - Carol Aird

“- Ma: He's on the other side of this wall.
- Jack: What other side?
- Ma: Jack, there's two sides to everything.
- Jack: Not on an octagon.”

Brie Larson - Ma
Jacob Tremblay - Jack

“It's not too often that you rob a place and then you get welcomed back.”
Michael Peña - Luis

“Was your head shaped like an egg before she hit you?”
Dan Aykroyd - Dr. Keats

“- Les: So you got any New Year resolutions, Princess Di?
- Diane: Yes.
- Les: What are they?
- Diane: To stop dating my dealer.
- Les: Now why would you do that? With me you get the whole package: sex and drugs.”
Ethan Hawke - Les
Emily Mortimer - Diane

“I'm left with only one option, I'm gonna have to science the shit out of this.”
Matt Damon - Mark Watnay

“Old McWalter had a farm and on that farm he had a kid with squishy, puffy cheeks.”
Pauly Shore - Crawl

“- Sid: I'm begging you. I need him.
- Manny: What, a good-looking guy like you?
- Sid: Aw, you say that, but you don't mean it.
- Manny: No, seriously, look at you. Aw, those ladies, they don't stand a chance.
- Sid: You have a very cruel sense of humor.”

John Leguizamo - Sid
Ray Romano - Manny

“- Captain Robinson: What are you looking for?
- Tobin: The windows.
- Captain Robinson: The what?
- Tobin: Well, the lads said I should give the windows a clean before we head out, but I can't find any.
- Captain Robinson: It's a submarine. There are no windows. What's the broom for?
- Tobin: There's no chimney, is there?”
Jude Law - Robinson
Bobby Schofield - Tobin

“You want to join the mile high club?”

Kirsten Dunst - Nicole oakley

“- Olive: Can you not see that I'm a mess?
- Rosemary: No, you're not, Olive. You're wonderful. And you'll handle this the same way I did. With an incontrovertible sense of humor. But you're much smarter than I am, so you'll come out of this much better than I did.
- Olive: Thank you, Mom.”

Emma Stone - Olive
Patricia Clarkson - Rosemary

“The great comedians imitate children. That's their ability.”
Hal Roach

“No comic can be great in films without two things — a great story which gives you a character to play, and a great director.”
Jack Benny

“Nunchuks Giganticus!”

Noel Fisher - Michelangelo

“You have no sense of humor, like a chair, or a supermodel.”

Nick Kroll - Professor Poopypants