“Let me tell you a little something about nature. I'm a dog, and I act like a dog. I don't try to be anybody else. We are who we are, and you are a doctor who can talk to animals. That's who you are.”

Norm MacDonald - Lucky

“Everything I am is an illusion.”
Matt Dillon - David Walsh

“- Amber: Who is this?
- Andre: I am Andre le Pate. I have big balls! And my ass breathes fire!”
Bridgette Wilson-Sampras - Amber
Christian Clavier - Andre

“A man hasn't any idea what his soul looks like until he gazes into the eyes for the woman that he's married to. And then, if he's any kind of decent human being, he spends the next couple of days throwing up. Because no honest man can stand that image.”
Danny DeVito - Phil Cooper

“- Roy O'Bannon: I'm so lost, Chon. Ninety percent of the time I don't even know what I'm doing out here in the West.
- Chon Wang: No, you're a good outlaw.
- Roy O'Bannon: Stop, please. I'm a screw-up.”
Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon
Jackie Chan - Chon Wang