Bill Cosby quotes
“I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”
“That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.”
“There's no labor a man can do that's undignified - if he does it right.”
“We are dumb, but we are not so dumb. It takes great courage and work to keep from working.”
My mother looked at it and said, "How precious". I don't know why she said it. Well, I didn't know then. I know now, because my mother put a curse on me. A long time ago, I remember when I was a child what she said, and I later found out that mothers, all mothers, put a curse on their children. They say: "I hope, when you get married, you have... (continue)(continue reading)
“My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals.”
“- Barney Satin: By midnight, they belong to me.
- Max Devlin: Not until the natural end of their lives. That's what you said.
- Barney Satin: Point of fact: I lied. I need them now.
- Max Devlin: Oh, no! Barney, please! I couldn't have done it if I'd known that! He's a great kid. They're all great kids, but that kid, kill him and you kill her!
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
“You know why I like to teach children, Jack? So I don't get so wrapped up in being an adult. So I can remember there are other things that are important in life, like riding a bike, playing in a treehouse, splashing in water with your good shoes on.”
“My wife was a beautiful woman before we had children.”
“Men and women belong to different species, and communication between them is a science still in its infancy.”
I really want to study this whole thing of drinking, getting drunk and people saying that they're having a good time. Because if you put on a good suit, you put on a good suit or whatever and you say, "I'm going out to have a good time". But some people announce it: "I'm going out... because I deserve to go out! And I'm going to get drunk...... (continue)(continue reading)
“Natural childbirth means that no drugs will be administered into the female's body during the delivery. The father can have all he wants.”
“- Max Devlin: I got until midnight, May 15th. That's our deal. Look, I'm... I'm telling you. I'm trying to get these people so hooked on me, they'll sign anything. That takes time. Now, if I go too fast, I'm liable to blow the whole deal!
- Barney Satin: I like your style, Max. You're a devious fellow.”
“The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.”
“Needless to say, we felt qualified to handle having children. And we planned to have children. We sat in the backseat of a car... and discussed it! Children! Having children and bringing them up.”
“Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.”
“Parents are not interested in justice; they are interested in quiet.”
“My wife and I have five children and the reason why we have five children is because we do not want six.”
“No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids.”
“Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to
come back home.”
“I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying
to please everybody.”