Jim Carrey quotes
“Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.”
“- Grinch: [shouts] Hello?
- Echo: Hello.
- Grinch: How are you?
- Echo: How are you?
- Grinch: I asked you first.
- Echo: I asked you first.
- Grinch: Oh right, that's really mature, saying exactly what I say.
- Echo: ...Saying exactly what I say.
- Grinch: I'm an idiot!
- Echo: You're an idiot!
- Grinch: [whispering] Alright, fine! I'm not...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Vincent Cadby: And my work habits?
- Ace Ventura: Yes, a workaholic; the urine stain on your pants would signify that you're a single shake man, far too busy for the follow-up jiggle.”
“- Ace Ventura: Good to see someone who doesn't buckle under the pressure.
- Lois Einhorn: And what would you know about pressure?
- Ace Ventura: Well, I have... kissed a man.”
“You know, gingivitis is the number one cause of all tooth decay.”
“Here's the thing: I'm never wrong.”
“I'm the top banana in a world full of monkeys.”
“You know what the problem is with being the smartest person in the world? Everyone else seems stupid!”
“- Dr. Ivo Robotnik: Why would you throw your life away for this silly little alien?
- Tom Wachowski: He's my friend.”
And the avarice... the avarice never ends! "I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue". Look, I don't wanna make waves, but this whole Christmas season is... stupid, stupid, stupid!
“- Lloyd Christmas: Harry, holy cow. I'm worried about you. You're as deaf as a bat.
- Harry Dunne: That's not exactly how it happened, Lloyd. Your mother got into bed with me.”
“We're all just cavemen, Trying to protect our little patch of land. Well now I've got a club, and I'm gonna take what I need.”
“One man's toxic sludge is another man's potpourri.
[his dog Max barks]
I don't know, it's some kind of soup.”
“- Adele Stanton: Do you remember me?
- Peter Appleton: No, but I'll sure try.”
“- Adele Stanton: He would've stood up to them.
- Peter Appleton: Yeah well, he's not here... to vouch for that, is he? We have to take your word for it! And forgive me but everybody's memory of Luke is a little rose-colored in this town. Besides, I'm not Luke. While he was liberating Europe, I was running the PX. He couldn't wait to save the...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Lynne Margulies: You just pretend to be an asshole.
- Andy Kaufman: It's what I'm good at.”
“- Riddler: You're ruining my big party! Are you insane?
- Two-Face: Just waiting for you to deliver the Batman, dear boy.
- Riddler: Patience, oh bifurcated one!
- Two-Face: Patience is hell! We want him dead!
- Riddler: Well, you could have let me in on the caper. We could have organized this, planned it... pre-sold the movie rights.”
“- Greta: Mr. Reede, several years ago a friend of mine had a burglar on her roof, a burglar. He fell through the kitchen skylight, landed on a cutting board, on a butcher's knife, cutting his leg. The burglar sued my friend, he sued my friend. And because of guys like you he won. My friend had to pay the burglar $6,000. Is that justice?
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Fletcher Reede: I was hoping after being married to me you'd have no more strength left.
- Audrey Reede: Well, you have to remember that when we were married, I wasn't having sex nearly as often as you were.”
“- Lloyd Christmas: I'll bet you twenty bucks I can get you gambling before the end of the day.
- Harry Dunne: You're on.”