Jim Carrey movie quotes

“One thing I hope I'll never be is drunk with my own power. And anybody who says I am will never work in this town again.”
Jim Carrey

“Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.”
Jim Carrey

“You know what the problem is with being the smartest person in the world? Everyone else seems stupid!”
Jim Carrey - Dr. Ivo Robotnik

“- Grinch: [shouts] Hello?
- Echo: Hello.
- Grinch: How are you?
- Echo: How are you?
- Grinch: I asked you first.
- Echo: I asked you first.
- Grinch: Oh right, that's really mature, saying exactly what I say.
- Echo: ...Saying exactly what I say.
- Grinch: I'm an idiot!
- Echo: You're an idiot!
- Grinch: [whispering] Alright, fine! I'm not...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jim Carrey - Grinch

“We're all just cavemen, Trying to protect our little patch of land. Well now I've got a club, and I'm gonna take what I need.”
Jim Carrey - Dick Harper

“- Greta: Mr. Reede, several years ago a friend of mine had a burglar on her roof, a burglar. He fell through the kitchen skylight, landed on a cutting board, on a butcher's knife, cutting his leg. The burglar sued my friend, he sued my friend. And because of guys like you he won. My friend had to pay the burglar $6,000. Is that justice?
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
Anne Haney - Greta
Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede

“- Vincent Cadby: And my work habits?
- Ace Ventura: Yes, a workaholic; the urine stain on your pants would signify that you're a single shake man, far too busy for the follow-up jiggle.”

Simon Callow - Vincent Cadby
Jim Carrey - Ace Venura

“- Cop: You know why I pulled you over?
- Fletcher Reede: Depends on how long you were following me!
- Cop: Why don't we just take it from the top?
- Fletcher Reede: Here goes: I sped. I followed too closely. I ran a stop sign. I almost hit a Chevy. I sped some more. I failed to yield at a crosswalk. I changed lanes at the intersection. I changed...” (continue)(continue reading)
Tony Carreiro - Cop
Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede

“- Ace Ventura: Good to see someone who doesn't buckle under the pressure.
- Lois Einhorn: And what would you know about pressure?
- Ace Ventura: Well, I have... kissed a man.”

Jim Carrey - Ace Ventura
Sean Young - Lois Einhorn

“- Fletcher Reede: Your honor, would the court be willing to grant me a short bathroom break?
- Judge Marshall Stevens: Can't it wait?
- Fletcher Reede: Yes it can. But I've heard that if you hold it you could damage the prostate gland, making it very difficult to get an erection, or even become aroused!
- Judge Marshall Stevens: Is that true?
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede
Jason Bernard - Judge Marshall Stevens

“- Meryl Burbank: Why don't you let me fix you some of this Mococoa drink? All natural cocoa beans from the upper slopes of Mount Nicaragua. No artificial sweeteners.
- Truman Burbank: What the hell are you talking about? Who are you talking to?
- Meryl Burbank: I've tasted other cocoas. This is the best.”

Jim Carrey - Truman Burbank
Laura Linney - Meryl Burbank

“- Ace Ventura: Don't kill me! Please! I'll never tell anyone, I swear... He's the one you want! Kill him!
- Dan Marino: No, kill him! He's the detective!
- Ace Ventura: No, kill him! He held the ball wrong, remember?! Come on, look at the guy!”

Jim Carrey - Ace Ventura
Dan Marino - Dan Marino

“I want her to be happy, no matter what that means. I want her to find someone who will treat her with all the love she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who will see her always as I do now, through Your eyes.”

Jim Carrey - Bruce Nolan

“- Lloyd Christmas: I feel like a schoolboy again. A schoolboy who desperately wants to make sweet, sweet love to you.
- Mary Swanson: I thought I heard you talking to someone.
- Lloyd Christmas: [now extremely nervous] Mary... I... I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy.”

Jim Carrey - Lloyd Christmas
Lauren Holly - Mary Swanson

“- Fletcher Reede: Oh, come on! Your honor, how can it be proved that the male voice on that tape is not Mr. Cole himself?
- Samantha Cole: [voice on tape] You are such a better lover than my husband!
- Fletcher Reede: Your honor, I object!
- Judge Marshall Stevens: And why is that, Mr. Reede?
- Fletcher Reede: It's devastating to my case!”

Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede
Jennifer Tilly - Samantha Cole
Jason Bernard - Judge Marshall Stevens

“Jury duty, jury duty, jury duty, black mail, pink slip, chain letter, eviction notice, jury duty.”

Jim Carrey - Grinch

“Price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. I repeat: price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. That's Vagiclean. We've got a customer down here with a full-on fallopian fungus. She's baking a loaf of bread and I think it's sourdough.”

Jim Carrey - Hank

“I am doomed to remember a boy with a wrecked voice, not because of his voice, or because he was the smallest person I ever knew, or even because he was the instrument of my mother's death, but because he is the reason I believe in God.”

Jim Carrey - Adult Joe Wenteworth

“You know, gingivitis is the number one cause of all tooth decay.”

Jim Carrey - Ace Venura

“Here's the thing: I'm never wrong.”
Jim Carrey - Dr. Ivo Robotnik

“I'm the top banana in a world full of monkeys.”
Jim Carrey - Dr. Ivo Robotnik

“Confidence. A fool's substitute for intelligence.”
Jim Carrey - Dr. Ivo Robotnik

“- Dr. Ivo Robotnik: Why would you throw your life away for this silly little alien?
- Tom Wachowski: He's my friend.”
Jim Carrey - Dr. Ivo Robotnik
James Marsden - Tom Wachowski

And the avarice... the avarice never ends! "I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue". Look, I don't wanna make waves, but this whole Christmas season is... stupid, stupid, stupid!
Jim Carrey - Grinch

“If only I could meet someone new. I guess my chances of that happening are somewhat diminished, seeing that I'm incapable of making eye contact with a woman.”
Jim Carrey - Joel Barish