“How did I get it? I mean, it's nothing to do with too much sex, is it?”

Rachel Griffiths - Rhonda Epinstalk

“Can you get an STD from a polar bear?”
Zach Galifianakis - Luke

Guys need sex. It's bad for you if you get all worked up and then not get it, you can get "prostrate" cancer. Is that what you want?
Tyler Shea Cone - Barry

“Listen. I don't care what you say. Chlamydia is a soup. It's my opinion. I can have that if I'd like. You don't have to argue. I've seen it on the grocery store shelf. Don't argue with me about it. I don't care if you are a doctor.”
Tim meadows - Leon Phelps

“- Big Time Willie: Do you know how to spell pussy?
- Coleman 'Booger' Sykes: I know! P-U...
- Big Time Willie: ...H-I-V.”
Roger Guenveur Smith - Big Time Willie
Hill Harper - Coleman 'Booger' Sykes