“- Michael Cromwell: You sound like an idiot.
- Richard Kempster: I'm a parent! Therefore, I'm an idiot! I have spent every day for the last 12 years worrying about my kids. About their safety, about their happiness, about their crooked teeth.”

Tim Allen - Michael Cromwell
Martin Hayter Short - Richard Kempster

“This whole thing is about parenting. It's about taking care of your children. You take care of yours, I take care of mine.”
Bruce Willis - Sonny Truelove

“My parent's didn't give a shit about me. And when they did take the time to look up from their martini glasses, it was to get on my case about friends, schoolwork, all that crap.”
Jacqueline Lovell - Trix

“No matter how screwed up our lives may be, we gotta take care of our children.”
Louis Giambalvo - Joe Carangi

“- Goofy: Did you brush your teeth?
- Max: Uh-huh.
- Goofy: Comb your hair?
- Max: Yeah, Dad.
- Goofy: Did you put on clean underwear?
- Max: Dad!!”
Bill Farmer - Goofy
Jason Marsden - Max Goof