“Ernest Goes to Jail” quotes

(1990)
Movie Ernest Goes to Jail
Title Ernest Goes to Jail
Year 1990
Director John R. Cherry III
Genre Comedy, Crime, Family
Interpreted by
Plot – Because of his extraordinary resemblance to his boss Nash, the bumbling Ernest becomes the victim of a case of mistaken identity. While Nash takes Ernest's job at the bank, Ernest finds himself sentenced to the electric chair. The electrical discharge, instead of killing him, gives him superhuman powers that will allow him to escape from prison and to foil Nash's attempted robbery of a bank.
All actors – Jim Varney, Gailard Sartain, Bill Byrge, Barbara Tyson, Barry Scott, Randall 'Tex' Cobb, Dan Leegant, Charles Napier, Jim Conrad, Jackie Welch, Melanie Wheeler, Jeffrey Buckner Ford
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  • “Real men are not intimidated by physical threats against their personal selves, and, ironically, neither am I.”
    Jim Varney - Ernest P. Worrell
    [Tag:fear, men, threat]
  • “Like in real, really, really, really, really real prison? The hoose-gow, the slammer, the joint, Alcatraz, San Quentin, Sing Sing, Oh no. I'm in... I'm in... jail!”
    Jim Varney - Ernest P. Worrell
    [Tag:prison]
  • “I came! I saw! I got blowed up!”
    Jim Varney - Ernest P. Worrell
    [Tag:success]
  • “Death row? You mean like the chair, the hot seat, dead meat, deep 6, it's over pal, you're outta here bub, the groundhog's are bringing you your mail, you're picking turnips with a step ladder, the no tomorrow row? That kind of row? Oh no. The row?”
    Jim Varney - Ernest P. Worrell
  • “So it's come to this. A pointless, miserable end to a shallow, meaningless life. But it's as it should be. It's the hand I've been dealt, and I have to play it as it lays. Oh, I'm not going to cry because life's thrown me a curve. I'm not going to whine because I got mashed potatoes when French fries is what I really wanted. It's time for me to...” (continue)(continue reading)
    Jim Varney - Ernest P. Worrell
  • Did you hear the one about the three legged dog that walked into a bar and said, "I'm lookin' for the guy that shot my paw!"?
    Jim Varney - Ernest P. Worrell
    [Tag:dogs]
  • “What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?”
    Jim Varney - Ernest P. Worrell
    [Tag:dogs]
  • “I've never been inside a restaurant that doesn't have a drive-thru window before.”
    Jim Varney - Ernest P. Worrell
    [Tag:place]
  • “We're sequestered. And on top of that we can't even leave! This is just great.”
    Jim Varney - Ernest P. Worrell
    [Tag:prison]
Highlights