“- Matt Jensen: I'm in a dry spell, man.
- Dustin Knight: To be in a dry spell you've had to have been in a wet spell.
- Matt Jensen: I've had sex.
- Dustin Knight: Yeah, with a human, though.
- Matt Jensen: Who's making up all these rules, man?”
Vince Vieluf - Matt Jensen
Adam Brody - Dustin Knight

“- Crook #1: One hundred and twenty-five years without a woof of pussy. How'd that make you feel, Mason?
- Crook #2: Mean. Very, very mean!”

“- Derek Zoolander: You mean, you haven't...
- Matilda Jeffries: Done it in a while, yeh.
- Hansel: Now, what's a while? Like, eight days?”

Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander
Christine Taylor - Matilda Jeffries
Owen Wilson - Hansel

“Lack of pussy makes you brave, man!”
Eddie Murphy - Reggie Hammond

“I'm telling you. If you don't have sex soon, you dick is going to shrivel up and go inside your body. Then what do you have? A vagina.”
Stephen Baldwin - Stuart