Abstinence quotes22 abstinence quotes, film quotes, movie lines, taglines
“Lack of pussy makes you brave, man!”
“- Glen: Phil, when was the last time you were with a woman?
- Phil: Uh, Saturday... Saturday will be a year.
- Glen: Ow!
- Mitch: Gee, if I had known, I'd have gotten you a cake.”
“The girl of my dreams lives under my own roof, but she thinks I'm just a kid, a dumb jock, all of which is more or less true. I'm dying, Mr. Tanneran, just like that girl in the poem... only quicker, and with a hard-on.”
“- Derek Zoolander: You mean, you haven't...
- Matilda Jeffries: Done it in a while, yeh.
- Hansel: Now, what's a while? Like, eight days?”
“I'm telling you. If you don't have sex soon, you dick is going to shrivel up and go inside your body. Then what do you have? A vagina.”
“- Mrs. Tingle: You've been sober, how long is it now?
- Principal Potter: Four years.
- Mrs. Tingle: There! I knew it was this week. Me and dates, you know, that's the curse of being a history teacher. Well congratulations, that's quite an accomplishment. Just think, not one sip of alcohol in over four years, that's almost... unbelievable.”
“Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.”
“I'm not a perfect person. I see a buck on the ground, I pick it up. Sometimes I take more than 10 items right through the express lane, and I have a temper, like my neighbor plays his music too loud. So I killed him, I cut him up and I put him in my freezer. I'm just kidding! Just breaking the tension!”
“- Crook #1: One hundred and twenty-five years without a woof of pussy. How'd that make you feel, Mason?
- Crook #2: Mean. Very, very mean!”
“- Matt Jensen: I'm in a dry spell, man.
- Dustin Knight: To be in a dry spell you've had to have been in a wet spell.
- Matt Jensen: I've had sex.
- Dustin Knight: Yeah, with a human, though.
- Matt Jensen: Who's making up all these rules, man?”
“18 years of nothing, and now twice in one day! What a place!”
“- Jeffrey: Wait! You're really a priest?
- Father Dan: Of course.
- Jeffrey: But... I mean, aren't you supposed to be straight and celibate?
- Father Dan: Maybe you didn't hear me. I'm a catholic priest. Historically, that falls somewhere between chorus boy and florist.”
“- Thurman Rice: There's a cure for syphilis... and it's called abstinence.
- Alfred Kinsey: Penicillin works just as well!”
“- Gynecologist: Are you sexually active?
- Gwyn: Oh no!... I mean, of course I am, but, you know, just not... not currently. I'd say that... I'd say, I'm experiencing a dry spell
- Gynecologist: So you're married?”
“Mandatory AIDS testing for all government employees. I guess that means you, Buckner. I wouldn't worry though, you look like a practitioner of safe sex. As a matter of fact, you look like a practitioner of no sex.”
“You know the funny thing about morphine? You don't appreciate it till you can't do it anymore!”