“A man hasn't any idea what his soul looks like until he gazes into the eyes for the woman that he's married to. And then, if he's any kind of decent human being, he spends the next couple of days throwing up. Because no honest man can stand that image.”
Danny DeVito - Phil Cooper

“- Veronique Ukrinsky 'Agent 3.14': Oh, Dick, you came for me. Tell me, what...what's been happening?
- Dick Steele 'Agent WD-40': Well, I've been doing a lot of soul searching, getting in touch with my inner child. And after careful consideration, well...I have decided that I love you.”
Nicollette Sheridan - Veronique Ukrinsky 'Agent 3.14'
Leslie William Nielsen - Dick Steele 'Agent WD-40'

“You couldn't buy her, though, that's what's killing you, isn't it? Stef? That's it, Stef. She thinks you're shit. And deep down, you know she's right.”
Andrew McCarthy - Blane

“I wanna tell you a little secret, being The One is just like being in love. No one needs to tell you you are in love, you just know it, through and through.”
Gloria Foster - Oracle

“- Mrs. Potter: What in the world is the matter with you?
- Hammer: Oh, I... I'm not myself tonight. I don't know how I am. One false move and I'm yours. I love you. I love you anyhow.”
Margaret Dumont - Mrs. Potter
Groucho Marx - Hammer