“- Tess Coleman: You cannot eat fast food.
- Anna Coleman: Why not?
- Tess Coleman: Because it will go down your throat and drop instantly to my thighs!”

Jamie Lee Curtis - Tess Coleman
Lindsay Lohan - Anna Coleman

“- Lara: It's amazing how much weight you lose when you go off The Pill.
- Lauren Hynde: Which is nothing compared to the fifty pounds you gain when you get knocked up.”
Jessica Biel - Lara
Shannyn Sossamon - Lauren Hynde

“You want your sister to lose weight? Tell her to get off the couch, stop eating Twinkies and maybe go out for field hockey. You know what? No one ever knows what they want to be when they grow up. You know, it takes a little, little while to find that out.”

Jake Gyllenhaal - Donnie Darko

“You're so skinny, if you turned sideways and stuck out your tongue, you'd look like a zipper.”

Jim Varney - Jebidiah Allardyce 'Cookie' Farnsworth

“- Jonathan Switcher: Hollywood I don't know about men's thighs, they look fine to me.
- Hollywood: Albert called me 'cellulite city'.”
Andrew McCarthy - Jonathan Switcher
Meshach Taylor - Hollywood