“- Felix Woods: Just keep an eye on her man. 'Cause some of those theatre guys, they have a reputation of being kinda... - Dennis Wallace: Gay? - Felix Woods: See, that's what they want you to think.”
Colin Hanks - Felix Woods
Sisqó - Dennis Wallace
“- Pinocchio: I'm going to school. - J. Worthington Foulfellow: School. Ah, yes. Then perhaps you haven't heard of the easy road to success. No? I'm speaking, my boy, of the theater!”
Dickie Jones - Pinocchio
Walter Catlett - J. Worthington Foulfellow
“This will be your home - where I can find you always! To me, you are a belonging. We will tour the world: Paris, London, Monte Carlo, Constantinopolee. We start tonight! You will make lots of money... for me! And when you are growing too old, you will make good firewood!”
Charles Judels - Stromboli
“- Kermit: Ms. Bitterman, you can take the Muppet Theatre, but you'll never take the theatre in our hearts! - Rachel Bitterman: That's good, because I don't want the theatre in your hearts; I want the theatre that exists in reality!”
Steve Whitmire - Kermit
Joan Cusack - Rachel Bitterman
