“- David: You know how I know you're gay?
- Cal: How?
- David: You like Coldplay.”
Paul Rudd - David
Seth Rogen - Cal

“Every band puts out at least one pussy song so they can find out who the faggots are!”
Bradford Tatum - Hubbs

“- Summer Hathaway: You want me to be a groupie?
- Dewey Finn: Well, groupie is an important job.
- Summer Hathaway: I researched groupies on the Internet. They sleep with the band!”
Miranda Cosgrove - Summer Hathaway
Jack Black - Dewey Finn

“- Dirt Merchant: Unbelievable!
- Holly So Tightly: What is?
- Dirt Merchant: You've humped half of my record collection.”

Danny Masterson - Dirt Merchant
Jenna Jameson - Holly So Tightly

“Isn't Pearl Jam some sort of oriental sex thing?”
Colleen Camp - Judy Marks