Seth Rogen quotes
“I mean, where I come from, 'communism' is not a terrible word.”
“I once 69:ed Fidel Castro. You think his beard is hairy.”
“- Fred Flarsky: I got fucked, man.
- Lance: Yeah, you got fucked like a stepmom on Pornhub.”
“- Fred Flarsky: We did almost just die, though, right?
- Charlotte Field: We totally almost just died.
- Fred Flarsky: Good, so I didn't just overreact.
- Charlotte Field: Oh, you totally overreacted.”
“I'm a racist, you're a Republican, I don't know what the fuck's going on.”
“- Steve Wozniak: You can't write code... you're not an engineer... you're not a designer... you can't put a hammer to a nail. I built the circuit board. The graphical interface was stolen from Xerox Parc. Jef Raskin was the leader of the Mac team before you threw him off his own project! Someone else designed the box! So how come ten times in a...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Saul Silver: What's up with the suit?
- Dale Denton: Oh, I'm a process server, so I have to wear a suit.
- Saul Silver: Wow, you're a servant? Like a butler? A chauffeur?
- Dale Denton: No, no. What? No, I'm not like...
- Saul Silver: Shine shoes?
- Dale Denton: I'm a process server!”
“- Red: I'm like the nerd at the sleepover who fell asleep at nine.
- Dale Denton: It's okay. We won't put our dicks in your mouth.”
“- Dave Skylark: This whole time I thought you were Samwise to my Frodo. But you're just... Boromir!
- Aaron Rapaport: I don't know who the fuck that is!
- Dave Skylark: 'I don't know who Boromir is', that's such a Boromir thing to say!”
“- Red: That's what I am. I'm just a hermit crab changin' shells.
- Dale Denton: Except if you're a dick your whole life, your next shell will be made of shit, okay? If you're an asshole, you're gonna come back as a cockroach or a worm or a fuckin' anal bead, okay? If you're a man and you act heroic, you'll come back as an eagle. You'll come back...” (continue)(continue reading)
- Windows: So, we're all hunky-dory? We're all copacetic?
- Roach: Well, if the word "copacetic" means I'm gonna rip off your tongue and lick your ass with it, then yeah, we're copacetic.
“- Dave Skylark: Kim must die, it's the American way.
- Sook: How many times can the U.S. make the same mistake?
- Aaron Rapaport: As many times as it takes!”
“We will know soon enough if you are Leonardo da Vinci or just think you are.”
“- Saul Silver: How about in the park, when I said you were my friend... you didn't say anything back.
- Dale Denton: Well, that's easy. It's because we're not friends. You are my drug dealer. The only reason I know you is because I like the drugs you sell. If you didn't sell drugs, I would have no idea who you are, and I wouldn't be here right now.”
“- Fogell: What's it like to have a gun?
- Officer Michaels: It's like having two cocks. If one of your cocks could kill someone.”
“- Red: I don't know what's up with you, but I don't know if I like you.
- Dale Denton: Well, I don't know if I like you either, man.
- Red: Well, that's your loss 'cause I'm a great friend.”
“- Steve Wozniak: I'm standing by you because that perfect cube - that does nothing - is about to be the single biggest failure in the history of personal computing.
- Steve Jobs: Tell me something else I don't know.”
“- Dave Skylark: As the two best friends stared each other in the eyes, they knew that this might be the end of a long road. But they also knew how much they meant to each other. And even though neither one could say it out loud, they were both thinking...
- Aaron Rapaport: I love you.”
“Isn't weird how chairs exist even when you're not sitting on them?”
“It's not binary. You can be a genius and be a decent man.”
You are gonna be so bad at sex the first time that you don't wanna have sex with someone you like, 'cause they'll think you're a weirdo for being so lame at it. So you wanna have sex with "hood rats" so that by the time you get to a girl that you do like, you won't be terrible at sex, you'll be mediocre at it. [pause] Probably still pretty bad,... (continue)(continue reading)