“- Sex Shop Salesman: Le Orgy Gel comes in lemon, mint, cherry or trail mix.
- Paul Bland: Trail mix?
- Sex Shop Salesman: I was making a joke.”
John Paragon - Sex Shop Salesman
Paul Bartel - Paul Bland

“Hanging out with a cop in Las Vegas is like bringing your grandma to an orgy.”
Tom Ellis - Lucifer Morningstar

“I have so much green under my fingernails, it looks like I had really good sex with Shrek.”
Beth Behrs - Caroline Channing

Don't anyone say "April Fool's" again or I'll rip them apart!
Amy Steel - Kit

“- Chaz: Why don't you tell us something about yourself?
- Nikki: All right, something about myself... I wanna work with handicapped children, and my parents are my best friends. And I start convent school next semester... and I fuck on the first date. April Fool's!”
Clayton Rohner - Chaz
Deborah Goodrich - Nikki