Joke quotes29 joke quotes, film quotes, movie lines, taglines
“- Pope Benedict: In 1978, we had three popes.
- Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio: Yeah, but they weren't at the same time.
- Pope Benedict: I was making a little joke.
- Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio: A joke?
- Pope Benedict: A German joke. It doesn't have to be funny.”
“Paintings are so passe. I call this a snapshot.”
“I know that I care, but do enough other people know that I care? ”
“Always hard to find, like love, Waldo, a good Chinese restaurant…”
“The only surprise I like is to not be surprised.”
“-22: I just use this voice because it annoys people.
-Joe: It’s very effective.”
“-Saul: It’s Kunta Kinte and Ebola.
-Clarence: The famine and Blood Diamond.
-Morris: Nelson Mandela and Winnie.
-Customer: Those hungry babies with flies on their face.
-Clarence: Hey. Woh. Woh. Woh. Woh. That’s too much now. You just stepped over the line now. ”
“Oh that says house appropriations. So close to mouse appropriations.”
“I don’t know if that is a noun, a verb, or an adjective describing my outfit.”
“I don’t owe them the fuzz off my peaches.”
“For a joke to work, it has to have part of truth and part of pain.”
“A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies ‘for you, no charge’.”
“I am a horny engineer; I never joke about math or sex.”
“Lynda, if this is a joke, I'll kill you!”
“- Damien Thorn: Teddy, don't ever talk about my father again. Do you understand?
- Teddy: Can't you take a joke?
- Damien Thorn: Yes.”
“I get paid for what most kids get punished for. ”
“We feel that what's too far is when you make a joke and somebody gets hurt.”
“- Terri: Don't go anywhere.
- Scott: Very funny.”
“- O'Niel: Are you Dr. Lazarus?
- Lazarus: Yes. Take two aspirin and call me in the morning. That's a doctor joke.”
Don't anyone say "April Fool's" again or I'll rip them apart!