“- George Clyde: Rodel, you want my bacon?
- Jake: Yes, I could eat it.
- George Clyde: Well, I'll shit it out by the oak tree in the morning, you just go and help yourself.”
Simon Baker - George Clyde
Tobey Maguire - Jake Roedel

“- Subotai: Food... food! I have not eaten for days.
- Conan: And who says you will?”
Gerry Lopez - Subotai
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Conan

“- Sissy: Well, I just thought we'd go to McDonald's.
- Bud: Dammit, McDonald's again?”
Debra Winger - Sissy
John Travolta - Bud

“- Carlton 'Doc' Windgate: Do you have nicoise?
- Diner Cook: I told you. We have ranch, Italian, and chunky bleu cheese, which is 50 cents extra.
- Carlton 'Doc' Windgate: Do you have any balsamic vinegar?
- Diner Cook: I got ranch, Italian, chunky bleu cheese.
- Carlton 'Doc' Windgate: How about a gun so I can shoot myself in the head?”
Peter Mackenzie - Carlton 'Doc' Windgate
Al Hamacher - Diner Cook

“For twenty years, I've been eatin' shit; breakfast, lunch, and dinner. So now I'm changing the menu. From here on, everything I eat is gonna be shit-free.”
Randy Quaid - Sheriff Mike Collins