“- Anna Crowley: You are so much less attractive when I'm sober.
- Walter Fielding: Thank goodness it's not that often.”
Shelley Lee Long - Anna Crowley
Tom Hanks - Walter Fielding

“The genius who created me only took care of my dashing good looks, my razor sharp wit and my irresistible attraction to the wrong women.”
Nipsey Russell - Tinman

- Adele Wolff: You smell that? Smells like the same shit in a different suit.
- Jane Marke: You think a dog knows how to work a Frisbee? Master says, "Fetch", and the bitch listens.
- Adele Wolff: You would look so sexy with a Frisbee in that mouth.
Ruby Rose - Adele Wolff
Toni Collette - Jane Marke

“- CJ Parker: You look amazing, by the way.
- Victoria Leeds: Well, someone has to.”
Kelly Rohrbach - CJ Parker
Priyanka Chopra - Victoria Leeds

“- Bonnie: You don't find me attractive?
- Hillary: You ever see a cats ass? That's what you remind me of.”
Alicia Witt - Bonnie
Renée Humphrey - Hillary