Shelley Lee Long quotes
“I was not a womanizer; I didn't date a lot. If I kissed somebody, I was basically married from that point on.”
“If you don't quit, and don't cheat, and don't run home when trouble arrives, you can only win.”
“- Lucy Chadman: Of course he may not be too thrilled to hear how No. 3 died.
- Jason Chadman: You mean... During...?
- Lucy Chadman: No. Just after. According to Kim he came and went.”
“Not everyone can be trusted. I think we all have to be very selective about the people we trust.”
“In a real relationship, you take two steps forward, one step back. ”
“- Anna Crowley: You are so much less attractive when I'm sober.
- Walter Fielding: Thank goodness it's not that often.”
“- Kim Lacey: Isn't this party absolutely sublime?
- Lucy Chadman: Beats a cesspool backup.”
“- Lizzie Potts: Oh great, look at this. Hungry Man, cup o' soup, cup o' stew, cop o' noodles...
- Gus Kubicek: Do you mind not indexing my garbage?
- Lizzie Potts: What's this?
- Gus Kubicek: Oh please, by all means, review my mail.
- Lizzie Potts: Get well cards?
- Gus Kubicek: When you're through, my diary is upstairs.”
“- Freddy Nefler: You'll be much less neurotic if your parents are happily divorced, rather than unhappily married.
- Phyllis Nefler: Thank you, Phil Donahue.
- Freddy Nefler: I saw it on Oprah!”
“Only men would come up with a draft lottery that uses balls.”
“No! Annabelle! Don't play with the space heater coil. Piglet, if you breath gas it will tie up all your available hemoglobin and there will be none left for oxygen transfer. Your lips and nail beds will turn cherry red and you'll die of carbon monoxide poisoning. I like to acquaint her with consequences.”
“I wish I could be gay again.”
“- Lucy Van Patten Brodsky: Do you have kids?
- Woman at Party: Yeah, but I'm not into parenting right now.”
“Yesterday I found a cobweb on my diaphragm.”
“- Max Beissart: You love me and I love you.
- Anna Crowley: You love you and I love Walter.”
“I may be a beginner at some things, but I've got a black belt in shopping!”
“Nine years of ballet, asshole!”
“- Velda Plendor: What is this? A pajama party? Is this what you call roughing it?
- Phyllis Nefler: One bathroom for nine people? Yes.”
“- Sandy: He's not going to hurt us.
- Lauren: Why not?
- Sandy: 'Cause we're gonna be raped and murdered in this building.”
“I feel like I'm caught in a Trojan! A pleated Trojan! With fringe!”
“- Anna Crowley: This is my house, too. I want to help.
- Walter Fielding: Do you have a gun?”