“- John Moss: She hates me.
- Nick Lang: Buy her a pony.
- John Moss: I mean Susan.
- Nick Lang: Buy her a horse.”
James Woods - John Moss
Michael J. Fox - Nick Lang

“- Bianca: Hi Jessica, you look great. Are you doing anything different or just hanging out with skankier friends?
- Jessica Spencer: You look good, too, Bianca. Are you eating less or just barfing more?
- Monique: Barfing more.”
Maria-Elena Laas - Bianca
Rob Schneider - Jessica
Ashlee Simpson - Monique

“- Brian: You're offering me a job?
- Doug: Uh huh.
- Brian: The waitresses hate me!
- Doug: You wait till you've given them crabs. Then you'll really know hatred.”
Tom Cruise - Brian Flanagan
Bryan Brown - Doug Coughlin

“- Professor Von Rotten: If there's one thing I hate, it's sentimental women.
- Cleopatra: Personally, I don't care very much for you either.
- Professor Von Rotten: I hate unsentimental women too, and small children and dogs and flowers and sometimes I even hate myself!”
Larry D. Mann - Professor Von Rotten

“I tried to stop it. I did everything I could, but they hated her. They hated her so much. They hated that she was smarter than them, they hated being out there with someone who had to squat to piss. I tried to save her. I did everything I could, but I couldn't make them stop.”

Brad Beyer - Bransford