Rob Schneider quotes
“- Lil' Pete: Hey, friend. Need any help getting her out?
- Ramon: She's not really stuck, amigo. She's just a diversion.
- Lil' Pete: She's a virgin? I'm a virgin, too... unless you count cantaloupes.
- Ramon: I believe that, but she's a diversion to keep the banker busy so that my brother has time to rob the bank.
- Lil' Pete: You're robbing...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Kate: I just don't think it's natural. You're not supposed to go up there. To tell you the truth, I don't know how men do it either.
- Deuce Bigalow: You're not curious, just to try something new?
- Kate: I'm just not into it.
- Deuce Bigalow: So space exploration is definitely out for you?
- Kate: Definitely. I mean, more power to any woman...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Jessica: Tell me is it beautiful?
- April: On the inside.”
“- Fergie: I had no choice! They were killing each other in there!
- Judge Dredd: You could have gone out the window.
- Fergie: 40 floors? It would have been suicide!
- Judge Dredd: Maybe, but it's legal.”
“Boys are cheats and liars, they're such a big disgrace. They will tell you anything to get to second base... ball, baseball he thinks he's gonna score. If you let him go all the way then you are a hor... ticulture studies flowers, geologist studies rocks. The only thing a guy wants from you is a place to put his cock... roaches, beetles,...” (continue)(continue reading)
Something happened, I don't know what it is, but now every time I say "What if" about something it comes true, and back there I said "What if the the house blows up?", and it blew up! Wow, I have this tremendous responsibility! What if I lose this power? Oh no, I just said "What if I lose this power?". Damn it, I had it, then I lost it!
“- Gus: Clark, could you not pick your nose in front of me?
- Clark: I'm not picking, I'm scratching.
- Gus: Scratching what? Your brain?
- Clark: Yeah, 'cause it's huge.”
“- Jake: Maybe this one will put out unlike that cold fish, Jessica.
- Jessica: You go to hell!
- Jessica: [defeated] Whoever left these showers on, go to hell.”
“You can do it! Cut his fucking head off!”
“Now place the ring on his hand. A ring is like a circle, it goes on forever. It's not like a triangle, triangle have corners. It's like a circle.”
“- Julian 'Frankenstien' McGrath: I wipe my own ass.
- Delivery Guy: Me too.”
“- Roxanne Chase-Feder: And this must be your mother.
- Rob Hilliard: My wife.”
“Sharks are like dogs, they only bite you if you touch their private parts.”
“- Ramon: My mother's Swedish.
- Tommy: I don't think so. I reckon she's Mexican.
- Ramon: Lying bitch.”
“- T.J. Hicks: See this ring? Topaz, my mother's birthstone. Know where I got the money for it?
- Deuce Bigalow: Where?
- T.J. Hicks: Man-whoring! See this keychain? Mini yo-yo. Know where I got the money for it?
- Deuce Bigalow: Man-whoring?
- T.J. Hicks: Stock market! But I got the money for the stock market from man-whoring.”
“I hate when the trailer gives away all the best stuff.”
“Studio people are idiots. Until they see someone else doing it and make a success of it, they don't open their minds. Most of them are idiots.”
“Women always feel like they're being stared at and judged, and rightfully so.”
“- Billy: Oh. I can't! I con't do it!
- Jessica: You always said you'd love me no matter what.
- Billy: Bu... I... you're a 30-year-old dude!
- Jessica: Just on the outside!”