“I'm afraid if I shared your wine, I might catch this awful disease you appear to have.”

William Richert - Bob Pigeon

“I wouldn't dance with you even if you didn't look like a sabertooth tiger. Bitch!”

Mario Joyner - Tom McNeal

“You can flush your manhood down the toilet.”

Rick Zumwalt - Joshua

“- Mr. Midnight: Same old dreary demands. Self righteous, messianic, moralistic and increasingly tedious.
- Captain Invincible: Fine talk from a sociopath paranoid schizophrenic with delusions of grandeur.
- Mr. Midnight: Thank you.”
Sir Christopher Lee - Mr. Midnight
Alan Arkin - Captain Invincible

“- Joel Goodson: Don't steal anything. If I come back here and anything's missing, I'm going straight to the police. I mean it.
- Lana: Joel, go to school. Go learn something.”
Tom Cruise - Joel
Rebecca De Mornay - Lana