“- Jason Melon: Wait a minute. When did you dream about going to college?
- Thornton Melon: When I used to fall asleep in high school.”
Keith Gordon - Jason Melon
Rodney Dangerfield - Thornton Melon

“There’s no better feeling. The truth is you only fly for a second or two before gravity takes back what you tried to steal. Because no matter how hard you work, how strong you are, or how thin you get, gravity always, always wins.”
Anna Maiche - Cassie Shore

“Of course for any dancer, the higher you fly, the more bone-shattering the landing that inevitable arrives.”
Anna Maiche - Cassie Shore

“- Dawn Weiner: I don't want to go to Disney World.
- Mark Weiner: Don't be stupid. If nothing else, it'll look good on your college résumé.”
Heather Matarazzo - Dawn Wiener
Matthew Faber - Mark Wiener

“- Shaun: I have to go to college.
- Cindy: Why?
- Shaun: Because it's what you do after high school.”
Colin Hanks - Shaun Brumder
Catherine O'Hara - Cindy Beugler