“- Ernest: This is great! This is just like that John Wayne movie when he and Sundance were in Bulgaria.
- Abner: Bolivia. They were in Bolivia. Wait a minute... they were killed in Bolivia.
- Ernest: Well, maybe they should've stayed in Bulgaria.”
Jim Varney - Ernest
Ron James - Abner

“The place is like a museum. It's very beautiful and very cold, and you're not allowed to touch anything.”

Alan Ruck - Ferris Bueller

“Maybe you're right. As you pointed out, there are certain similarities between the two crimes, but you missed perhaps the most important: both murders were discovered by the same man - you!”

Charles Waldron - District Attorney

“You're just like me, Kay. You want what you can't have.”

Lloyd Nolan - Del Davis

“One of you's gonna get married and the other one's going to jail, so you really got a lot in common.”
William Frawley - Sheriff McGee