Marriage quotes

“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then they marry him.”
Cher

“Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.”
Shelley Winters

“I thought the earth wasn't supposed to move until the honeymoon.”

Robin Williams - The Genie

“I know nothing about sex because I was always married.”
Zsa Zsa Gabor

“- Karen: What's wrong with marriage anyway?
- Denys: Have you ever seen one you admire?
- Karen: Yes, I have, many. Belfield's, for one.
- Denys: He sent her home for the rains in 1910. Didn't tell her they were over until 1913.”
Meryl Streep - Karen
Robert Redford - Denys

“When you're married, it's a contract. There's children, a mortgage, a house to keep up, almost like a business. Only you can't quit. She can't fire you. Stock goes up, stock goes down, doesn't matter, you're trapped. Unless you want to bring on the lawyers and open Pandora's box. Resentment builds on both sides. A thousand tiny cuts.”
Holt McCallany - Bill Tench

“- Brogan-Moore: Touching isn't it? The way he counts on his wife.
- Sir Wilfrid: Yes, like a drowning man clutching at a razor blade.”
John Williams - Brogan-Moore
Charles Laughton - Sir Wilfrid Roberts

“- Dr. Evald Borg: It's absurd to bring children into this world and think they'll be better off than we were.
- Marianne Borg: That's just an excuse.
- Dr. Evald Borg: Call it what you want. I was an unwanted child in a hellish marriage.”
Gunnar Björnstrand - Dr. Evald Borg
Ingrid Thulin - Marianne Borg

“- Veda: I don't like this house.
- Mildred: Neither do I. But that's no reason to marry a man I'm not in love with.
- Veda: Why not?
- Mildred: Veda, does a new house mean so much to you that you would trade me for it?”
Ann Blyth - Veda Pierce
Joan Crawford - Mildred Pierce

“- Nick Parker: Hal, come here. We have to talk
- Annie as Hallie: Okay shoot.
- Nick Parker: Okay, honey... I want to know what you think about making Meredith part of the family?
- Annie as Hallie: Part of our family?
- Nick Parker: Yeah.
- Annie as Hallie: I think it's an awesome idea. Inspired. Brilliant really.
- Nick Parker: You do? Really?...” (continue)(continue reading)
Dennis Quaid - Nick Parker
Lindsay Lohan - Annie James
Lisa Ann Walter - Chessy

“I gotta say something to you, I don't want you to think that the reason we're not married is because I think anything of anyone else. It's because I'm 40 years old and I'm a failure, Annie. The reason that I never talked marriage to you is because I couldn't stand to see you, the princess of worry, weighed down by me and my limited prospects....” (continue)(continue reading)
Lenny Venito - Al

“I was in love too. My wife wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. She wanted to get married, we did. She wanted to have kids, we did. She wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and did in each other arms, we did.”
Debra Winger - Emmett Humbird

“There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.”
Clint Eastwood

My marriage license reads, "To whom it may concern".
Mickey Rooney

“Flowers? How much? If you spend any more on this thing, you can pick the daisies off my grave! Get plastic!”

J. K. Simmons - J. Jonah Jameson

“With a second marriage, you keep your fingers crossed and you act optimistic. Somebody did say that a second marriage is a victory of hope over experience.”

Natalie Wood

“When I get married, it will be for life - divorce is not an option.”
Kelly Rowland

“Some perfect wife I am. I've been married four times, divorced four times, have no children, and can't boil an egg.”
Myrna Loy

“- Lester Burnham: Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus.
- Carolyn Burnham: Your father seems to think this kind of behavior is something to be proud of.
- Lester Burnham: And your mother seems to prefer that I go through life like...” (continue)(continue reading)

Kevin Spacey - Lester Burnham
Annette Bening - Carolyn Burnham

“- Jerry: We can't get married at all.
- Osgood Fielding III: Why not?
- Jerry: Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde.
- Osgood Fielding III: Doesn't matter.
- Jerry: I smoke! I smoke all the time!
- Osgood Fielding III: I don't care.
- Jerry: Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I've been living with a saxophone...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jack Lemmon - Jerry
Joe E. Brown - Osgood Fielding III

“Here's what I think you should do. I would do whatever he says. If he wants you to talk, talk. I would get on all fours and bark like a dog. I would do whatever it takes. Smoke some joints! Drink some wine! Whatever it is, to get off on each other and be happy. I mean, come on, look at the two of you! Where are you running? This is the time to...” (continue)(continue reading)

Billy Crystal - Dr. Ben Sobel

“What if you meet the love of your life, but you already married somebody else, are you supposed to let them pass you by?”
Drew Barrymore - Mary

“The only way to learn a language properly, in fact, is to marry a man of that nationality. You get what they call in Europe a 'sleeping dictionary.' Of course, I have only been married five times, and I speak seven languages. I'm still trying to remember where I picked up the other two.”
Zsa Zsa Gabor

“May you never steal, lie, or cheat, but if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows, and if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life, and if you must cheat, then please cheat death because I couldn't live a day without you.”

Dominique McElligott - Bride

“Some of the reason why you have so many divorces is that we tend to get married, most of the time, not for ourselves, but for others, or for how it looks to others.”
Djimon Hounsou