“The funny thing about people, one time out of a hundred they turn out better than you expect.”
Bruce Willis - John Smith

“- Syd: What do you look for in a woman?
- Dex: Low Standards.”
Greer Goodman - Syd
Donal Logue - Dex

“I can't send a young pretty girl such as you ask on a job like this without telling her what to expect. To go off on a trip for no one knows how long, to some spot you don't even hint at, the only woman on the ship with the toughest mugs I ever looked at.”

Sam Hardy - Charles Weston

- Marie "Slim" Browning: Who was the girl, Steve?
- Steve: Who was what girl?
- Marie "Slim" Browning: The one who left you with such a high opinion of women.
Lauren Bacall - Marie "Slim" Browning
Humphrey Bogart - Harry Morgan

“If anything happens to me, you tell every woman I've ever gone out with I was talking about her at the end. That way they'll have to reevaluate me.”
Albert Brooks - Aaron Altman