“- Carly: Can you help me find the bathroom?
- Scott: I think this is the bathroom.”

Emmanuelle Chriqui - Carly
Jeremy Sisto - Scott

“- Stan: There's been a P.I. at the shark pool.
- Jordan: P.I.?
- Stan: Puking incident. Some kid puked all over the shark pool. Anyway, I need you to clean it up for me right away. A.S.A.P..”
Jason Deveaux - Stan
Ben Easter - Jordan

“- Glenda Gardenia Parks: That's barbecue sauce.
- Dist. Atty. Ira J. Parks: Black barbecue sauce?
- Glenda Gardenia Parks: Yes. It's mexican. Very hot. Don't eat it.
- Dist. Atty. Ira J. Parks: I wasn't going to.”

Goldie Hawn - Glenda Parks
Charles Grodin - Ira Parks

“My dear Henry, if dirty fingers were trumps, what a splendid hand you'd have.”

Sheila Reid - Lady Florrie Rawlinson

“- Judy Benjamin: Have you seen the bathroom?
- Capt. Doreen Lewis: Do you think that the latrine... do you think that it's unsanitary?
- Judy Benjamin: It's disgusting! There are urinals in there!”
Goldie Hawn - Judy Benjamin
Eileen Brennan - Capt. Doreen Lewis