“I really hate to be the one to tell you this, but that guy, your neighbor; yeah, he's a vampire man.”
Christopher Mintz-Plasse - Ed

“- Marcus Burnett: We're your new neighbors.
- Mike Lowrey: Don't be alarmed, we're negros.”
Martin Lawrence - Marcus Burnett
Will Smith - Mike Lowrey

“Ray, there's no doubt anymore. This is real. Your neighbors are murdering people. They're chopping them up. They're burying them in their backyard. Ray... this is Walter.”

Rick Ducommun - Art Weingartner

“He's got the best lawn on the block. And you know why? Because he trains his dog to crap in my yard.”
Bruce Dern - Mark Rumsfield

- Investigator Fujitsuka Natsuo: Isn't someone going to hear that and call the police?
- Detective Tony Costas: No, you see in this neighborhood they don't call the police, they just yell "Turn that shit off".

Pat Morita - Investigator Fujitsuka Natsuo
Jay Leno - Detective Tony Costas