“- Harry Blackitt: [referring to Catholics] Every time they have sexualintercourse, they have to have a baby.
- Mrs. Blackitt: But it's the same with us, Harry.
- Harry Blackitt: What do you mean?
- Mrs. Blackitt: Well, I mean, we've got two children, and we've had sexualintercourse twice.”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Harry Blackitt
Eric Idle - Mrs. Blackitt

“How did I get it? I mean, it's nothing to do with too much sex, is it?”

Rachel Griffiths - Rhonda Epinstalk

“- Turk: [after Harry and Jessica and Harry finish talking] Hey Harry, did Jessica give you that banana in your pocket?
- Harry Dunne: No, my mom did!
- Turk: Gross!”
Elden Henson - Turk
Derek Richardson - Harry Dunne

“I know what you can't say. You wanna get laid. You wanna hump your brains out.”
Maureen Stapleton - Ma Kelly

“I'm going to hell for sure. Here he is, talking about his poor dead mother and I can't help wishing his hands were unbuttoning my dress!”
Winona Ryder - Charlotte Flax