“Not Another Teen Movie” quotes

Movie Not Another Teen Movie
Title Not Another Teen Movie
Year 2001
Director Joel Gallen
Genre Comedy
Plot – Janey Briggs is an aspiring artist marginalized by her schoolmates, who think she’s ugly because she always wears a paint-splattered overalls, glasses and a ponytail. Jake Wyler, the typical athletic student loved by everyone is convinced that he can transform her into the queen of the prom. Everything that it takes to achieve the goal is told in an irreverent way, with a lot of characters that emphasize and criticize the typical topic of these kind of movies.
All actors – Chyler Leigh, Chris Evans, Jaime Pressly, Eric Christian Olsen, Mia Kirshner, Deon Richmond, Eric Jungmann, Ron Lester, Cody McMains, Sam Huntington, JoAnna Garcia Swisher, Lacey Chabert, Samm Levine, Cerina Vincent, Beverly Polcyn, Ed Lauter, Paul Gleason, Mr. T, Molly Ringwald, Randy Quaid, Samaire Armstrong, Nectar Rose, Riley Smith, Nathan West, Michelle Holgate, Jeanette Miller, Michael Ensign, Benjamin Waldow, Josh Radnor, Ross Mulholland, Dean Sheremet, Becca Sweitzer, Hayley Zelniker, Lukas Behnken, Josh Jacobson, Amber Marie Goetz, Joy Bisco, Morisa Taylor Kaplan, George Wyner, Ned Brower, Peter Simon, Joy Gohring, Tracy Kay, Jessica Asher, Sean Smith, Heather Brown, Ean Mering, Lyman Ward, Julie Welch, Daniel Bess, Jackie Harris, James Read, Rob Benedict, Banks McClintock, Jay Johnston, Jesse Capelli, Daniel Spink, Oz Perkins, Kyle Cease, Jim Wise, Kimi Bateman, Staci B. Flood, Sarah Christine Smith, China Shavers, H. Jon Benjamin, Paul Goebel, Good Charlotte, Marissa Fedele, Samuel Givens, Kimberly Lyon, Zachary Woodlee, Alec Murdock, Cynthena Sanders, Will Gill Jr., Nick Zephyrin, Jeremy Galeaz, Heidi Androl, Sam Ayers, Nick Bakay, Maylen Calienes, Candice Cook, Marcus Edward, David M. Francis, Melissa Joan Hart, Kelly S. King, Jarrett Lennon, Desi Lydic, Tracey McCall, Jennifer Schlueter, Gena Shaw, Abraham Smith, Sean Patrick Thomas, Cassie Townsend, Susan Anne Wall
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  • “- Mr. Briggs: Hey, uhh... I might be late to pick you guys up.
    - Janey Briggs: Why, do you have a job interview today, Daddy?
    - Mr. Briggs: No honey, I'll probably just be way too drunk.”

    Randy Quaid - Mr. Briggs
    Randy Quaid - Janey Briggs
  • “- Jake Wyler: So listen, you ever wondered what it'd be like to be the most popular girl in school?
    - Janey Briggs: You mean anorexic, superficial, a bitch, a whore who lacks any real long-term goals?”

    Chris Evans - Jake Wyler
    Chyler Leigh - Janey Briggs
  • “- Jake Wyler: Who's that?
    - Janey Briggs: It's my mother.
    - Jake Wyler: You have her eyes.”

    Chris Evans - Jake Wyler
    Chyler Leigh - Janey Briggs
  • “- Janey Briggs: I read Sylvia Plath, I listen to 'Bikini Kill' and I eat Tofu. I am a unique rebel.
    - Mitch Briggs: It sounds more like you're a lesbo.”

    Chyler Leigh - Janey Briggs
    Cody McMains - Mitch Briggs
  • “- Ricky Lipman: I'm the best friend, and I have been in front of her face the whole time, and she just... hasn't really realized it yet, but she will.
    - Jake Wyler: Well, I'm the reformed cool guy, who's learned the error of his ways. She's gonna forgive me for my mistakes, and realize that I really love her.
    - Ricky Lipman: Dammit, that's true.”

    Eric Jungmann - Ricky Lipman
    Chris Evans - Jake Wyler
    [Tag:love, truth]
  • “- Jake Wyler: You're inteIIigent and insightfuI. You don't get the respect you deserve.
    - Malik: That's great! I've aIways wanted to discuss...
    - Jake Wyler: I actually got to go. Sorry.”

    Chris Evans - Jake Wyler
    Deon Richmond - Malik
  • “- Malik: What are you doing here?
    - Other black guy at party: What do you mean?
    - Malik: I am supposed to be the only black guy at this party.”

    Deon Richmond - Malik
    Sean Patrick Thomas - Other black guy at party
    [Tag:party, stereotype]
  • - Janey Briggs: You haven't spoken to me in like four years, Jake.
    - Jake Wyler: Actually, it's more like six, because the time you're referring to when we were standing in line at that movietheater, I was actually saying "hey" to the person right behind you.

    Chyler Leigh - Janey Briggs
    Chris Evans - Jake Wyler
  • “She's an illusion. Ok, you take away the make-up, the clothes, the way she wears her hair, the smell of her perfume, that cute little face she makes when she's tonguing my balls. Look she's totally replaceable.”
    Chris Evans - Jake Wyler
  • “Hey guys, welcome to the party. If you're gonna have sex, please... do it in my parents' bedroom.”
    Rob Benedict - Preston Wasserstein
    [Tag:party, sex]
  • “Do you think I sleep with every guy who writes me a letter? No. I give them hand jobs.”
    Lacey Chabert - Amanda Becker
    [Tag:letters, sex]
  • “It was so hard. I had to take on all of her responsibilities. Cooking... cleaning... breast feeding Mitch.”

    Chyler Leigh - Janey Briggs
  • I remember it like it was yesterday, Christmas 1989, dad had just gotten fired from the Zippo factory, mom was still pulling in tricks to make ends meet, Daniel Day Lewis won an Oscar for "My Left Foot", and all I wanted was one of those little Betsy Wetsy dolls.

    Chyler Leigh - Janey Briggs
  • - Janey Briggs: I knew it. That's a line from "She's All That". I masturbate to that movie.
    - Jake Wyler: [to nosy Flight Attendant right behind them] Do you mind?
    - Flight Attendant: Not at all, I think masturbation is very healthy.

    Chyler Leigh - Janey Briggs
    Chris Evans - Jake Wyler
    Molly Ringwald - Flight Attendant
  • “But I don't need the class schedule. I only come to this country to be object of lust for poor nerds who cannot get American pussy.”
    Cerina Vincent - Areola
    [Tag:goals, lust]
  • “- Catherine Wyler: I want you.
    - Jake Wyler: Catherine that's disgusting! You're my sister.
    - Catherine Wyler: Only by blood.
    - Jake Wyler: [shoving her off] What's wrong with this family?”

    Mia Kirshner - Catherine Wyler
    Chris Evans - Jake Wyler
    [Tag:desire, family]
  • - Jake Wyler: Malik, can you hold my books for me?
    - Malik: Sure, why not? I am the token black guy. I'm just supposed to smile and stay out of the conversation and say things like: "damn", "shit," and "that is whack".

    Chris Evans - Jake Wyler
    Deon Richmond - Malik
  • “- Janey Briggs: It was raining really hard that night, the roads were... slippery.
    - Jake Wyler: Janey... a car accident.
    - Janey Briggs: No. Cancer.”

    Chyler Leigh - Janey Briggs
    Chris Evans - Jake Wyler
    [Tag:death, disease, rain]
  • “- Catherine Wyler: Can I ask you a question? Why is it then whenever I tell a guy to put it wherever they want, they always stick it in my ass?
    - Malik: Damn.
    - Jake Wyler: That's way too much information for me, Catherine.
    - Catherine Wyler: Oh no Jake. Way too much information would be telling you that whenever they're done I always take a...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Mia Kirshner - Catherine Wyler
    Deon Richmond - Malik
    Chris Evans - Jake Wyler
    [Tag:questions, sex]
  • Give me an 'H'. Give me a 'U'. Give me a "giant pussy-licking, ass-fucker, cock, shit".
    [the other cheerleaders are disturbed]
    I'm sorry. That was my Tourette's.

    JoAnna Garcia Swisher - Sandy Sue
    [Tag:disease, swearing]