“- Derek: We've got a bunch of Extra-Terrestrial psychopaths on our hands, like a visit from a planet full of Charlie Mansons, they've started on something small, it's my guess they'll go onto something bigger next time, Christchurch, Wellington...
- Barry: Auckland?
- Derek: Yeah, well, that wouldn't be so bad.”
Sir Peter Jackson - Derek
Pete O'Herne - Barry

“Look, when a vastly superior alien culture comes all this way to take over your world, certain basic laws of planetary conquest apply. For example, when someone points a Quad Vectored Hypo Thermic Cosmo Blaster at you, it's a fair bet you are about to become toast.”
Tommy Madden - Giggywig

“- Harry: It's flying away! Is that a bad thing?
- Ira: Only if you're a human being.”

Orlando Jones - Harry
David Duchovny - Ira

“- Ira: Hey, cool. Snag one.
- Harry: Snag one?
- Ira: Yeah, snag one and put it in the bucket.
- Harry: I've seen this movie, the black dude dies first. You snag it.”

David Duchovny - Ira
Orlando Jones - Harry

“That could have been your head David.”

Paul Reubens - Max