- Creepy Guy: Know how many assassins it took to kill JFK?
- Nelson Hibbert: One?
- Creepy Guy: Nope. There were no gunmen at all. His head just did that. I call it the "No Bullet theory".
Enrico Colantoni - Creepy Guy
Dave Foley - Nelson Hibbert

“I pieced together the photos of every murder and I laid them out chronologically. That red line right there indicates where his killing became erratic and inexplicable. All you've gotta do is set up a null hypothesis and try and prove it. And when you can't prove it, that means your original hypothesis must be true.”

Chris Marquette - Oliver

“My daddy always used to say there was a separate god for children.”
Mary-Louise Parker - Ruth Jamison

“- Carter: Lee, let me introduce you to Carter's new theory of criminal investigation: follow the rich white man.
- Lee: Follow the rich white man?
- Carter: Behind every big crime there's a rich white man waiting for his cut.”
Chris Tucker - Carter
Jackie Chan - Lee

“- Diane Court: I have this theory of convergence, that good things always happen with bad things. I know you have to deal with them at the same time, but I just don't know why they have to happen at the same time. I just wish I could work out some schedule. Am I just babbling? Do you know what I mean?
- Lloyd Dobler: No.”
Ione Skye - Diane Court
John Cusack - Lloyd Dobler