“- Max Detweiler: The Von Trapp Family Singers. Here are your names: Liesl, Friedrich, Louisa, Brigitta, Kurt, Marta and Gretl.
- Gretl: Why am I always last?
- Max Detweiler: Because you are the most important.”
Richard Haydn - Max Detweiler
Kym Karath - Gretl

“- Norma White: Ron, dear, didn't Greenwich-Village-people-types go out with the '60s?
- Samantha: That's it! The name: Village People.
- Village People: Cowboy: Well, that's not a badidea, uh, that's what we are.”
Barbara Rush - Norma White
Valerie Perrine - Samantha
Randy Jones - Village People: Cowboy

“- Wayne Campbell: Hey, Tiny, who's playing today?
- Tiny: Jolly Green Giants and the Shitty Beetles.
- Wayne Campbell: Shitty Beetles? Are they any good?
- Tiny: They suck.
- Wayne Campbell: Then it's not just a clevername.”
Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell
Meat Loaf - Tiny

“- Night Club Manager: What'd you say the name of your band was called?
- Glam: Mondo Diarrhea.
- Slam: Alien Vomit.”
Gino Dentie - Night Club Manager
Dustin Nguyen - Glam
Angelo Tiffe - Slam

“A barber with a dull razor is like a blind moyl.”
Robin Williams - Jakob