Mike Myers movie quotes

“- Ray Foster: Bohemian...
- Brian May: Rhapsody. It's poetic.
- Ray Foster: What on earth is it about? Scaramouche? Galileo? Beelzebub? And that Ismallah business?
- Freddie Mercury: Bismillah.”
Mike Myers - Ray Foster
Gwilym Lee - Brian May
Rami Malek - Freddie Mercury

“- Ray Foster: It goes on forever, six bloody minutes!
- Freddie Mercury: I pity your wife if you think six minutes is forever.”

Mike Myers - Ray Foster
Rami Malek - Freddie Mercury

- Dr. Evil: Mr. President, after I destroy Washington D.C. I will destroy another major city every hour on the hour. That is, unless, of course, you pay me one hundred billion dollars.
- The President: Dr. Evil, this is 1969! That amount of money doesn't even exist. That's like saying, "I want a kajillion bajillion dollars".
Mike Myers - Dr. Evil
Tim Robbins - The President

“- Vanessa Kensington: What's your plan?
- Austin Powers: [nervously] First, I plan to soil myself. Then I'm going to regroup and come up with a new plan. Any thoughts?”
Liz Hurley - Vanessa Kensington
Mike Myers - Austin Powers

“I mean Led Zeppelin didn't writetunes that anybody liked. They left that to the BeeGees.”
Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell

“We need a songteenagers can bang their heads to in a car. Bohemian Rhapsody is not that song.”
Mike Myers - Ray Foster

“Donkey, two things okay? Shut... up!”
Mike Myers - Shrek

“- Felicity Shagwell: I want to see what happens in the 70s and 80s.
- Austin: The 70s and the 80s? You're not missing anything, believe me. I've looked into it. There's a gas shortage and A Flock of Seagulls. That's about it.”
Heather Graham - Felicity Shagwell
Mike Myers - Austin Powers

“- Felicity Shagwell: Austin Powers, I presume.
- Austin: Powers by name, powers by reputation.
- Felicity Shagwell: Felicity Shagwell, CIA. Shagwell by name, shag-very-well by reputation.
- Austin: Oh, be-have.
- Felicity Shagwell: Not if I can help it.”
Heather Graham - Felicity Shagwell
Mike Myers - Austin Powers

“I'd hoped Scott would look up to me, run the business of the family, head an evil empire just like his dear old dad, give him my love and the things I never had. Scott would think I was a cool guy, return the love I have, make me want to cry, be evil, but have my feelings too, change my life with Oprah and Maya Angelou. But Scott rejected me,...” (continue)(continue reading)
Mike Myers - Dr. Evil

- Benjamin Oliver: Oh, actually all champagne is French; it's named after the region. Otherwise it's sparkling white wine. Americans of course don't recognize the convention, so it becomes that thing of calling all of their sparkling white "Champagne", even though by definition they're not.
- Wayne Campbell: Ah yes, it's a lot like "Star Trek:... (continue)(continue reading)
Rob Lowe - Benjamin Oliver
Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell

“- Wayne Campbell: She's a babe.
- Garth Algar: She's magically babelicious.
- Wayne Campbell: She tested very high on the stroke-ability scale.”

Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell
Mike Myers - Garth Algar

“- Shrek: I can't believe I'm going to be a father. How did this happened?
- Puss in Boots: Allow me to explain. When a man falls in love with a woman, he is overcome with powerful urges...”
Mike Myers - Shrek
Antonio Banderas - Puss in Boots

“- Robin Swallows: My name is Robin Swallows.
- Austin: Swallows - that's an interesting name.
- Robin Swallows: Maiden name's Spitz.
- Austin: Which is it, baby, Spitz or Swallows?”
Gia Carides - Robin Swallows
Mike Myers - Austin Powers

“That's my princess! Go find your own!”

Mike Myers - Shrek

“- Scott Evil: I just think, like, he hates me. I really think he wants to kill me.
- Therapist: He doesn't really want to kill you. Sometimes we just say that.
- Dr. Evil: No actually the boy is quite astute. I really am trying to kill him, but so far unsuccessfully.”
Seth Green - Scott Evil
Carrie Fisher - Therapist
Mike Myers - Dr. Evil

“- Lord Farquaad: What's that? It's hideous!
- Shrek: Well, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey.”

John Lithgow - Lord Farquaad
Mike Myers - Shrek

- Scott: If you've got a time machine, why don't you just go back and kill Austin Powers when he's sitting on the crapper or something?
- Dr. Evil: How about... "no", Scott? Okay?
Seth Green - Scott Evil
Mike Myers - Dr. Evil

“- Wayne Campbell: I smell bacon. Does anyone else smell bacon?
- Garth Algar: I definitely smell a pork product of some kind.”

Mike Myers - Wayne Campbell
Dana Carvey - Garth Algar

“- Princess Fiona: You're an ogre...
- Shrek: You were expecting Prince Charming?
- Princess Fiona: Yes, actually. This is wrong. This is all wrong! It's not supposed to be an ogre!”
Cameron Diaz - Princess Fiona
Mike Myers - Shrek

“Are those sharks with laser beams attached to their heads?
[Scott Evil nods]”
Mike Myers - Dr. Evil

“- Donkey: I have a bit of a confession to make: donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right there on our sleeves.
- Shrek: Wait a second, donkeys don't have sleeves!”
Eddie Murphy - Donkey
Mike Myers - Shrek

“You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough.”

Mike Myers - Dr. Evil

“- Donkey: Where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?
- Shrek: Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
- Donkey: I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.”

Eddie Murphy - Donkey
Mike Myers - Shrek

“- The Cat: There is a third option.
- Sally: There is?
- The Cat: Yes. It involves murder.”
Mike Myers - The Cat
Dakota Fanning - Sally