“- Ellen Griswold: We can't leave her on the patio!
- Clark Griswold: Would you rather I slipped her in the night deposit box at the funeral home?”

Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Earl Rose: I deal with widows everyday! The remains will stay here.
- Roy Kellerman: I don't think so. The remains... What did you call it, your body? The hell with you, and the hell with your law.”
Rory Cochrane - Earl Rose
Tom Welling - Roy Kellerman

“- Number One: Angelo, I don't want anyone else to get hurt. I'm giving up the Betsy.
- Angelo Perino: You're what?
- Number One: I've seen people broken before, and it's not gonna happen again. The next funeral I want to attend is my own.”
Laurence Olivier - Number One
Tommy Lee Jones - Angelo Perino

“Funerals, I've decided, are not for the dead. They are for the living.”
Shailene Woodley - Hazel

Pete 'Dead Meat' Thompson is dead. So is Mo Green, Tataglia, Barzini, the heads of all the five families. It is at moments like these, my dear friends, that we must ask ourselves: "How can this not be part of some larger plan?".

Lloyd Bridges - Adm. Thomas 'Tug' Benson